Where I Belong

Post Mortem Harhar

2009-04-09T20:46:00.002+08:00

Oh boy I was so relieved when the reception was over. Tired but definitely relieved. I am so so glad and thankful that I have friends I could count on and helped me throughout the reception and made sure everything went accordingly and took over from me when I needed to just sit back and be the bride. It's back to square one now and I'm really looking forward to London - Phantom, Arsenal, Paris...SHOPPING...and everything. I even made sure that we picked a date after I finished my project so I don't need to worry about coming back to a pile of work. Instead, I'd be coming back to prepare for my switch over to another team before we finish our one year training.

Work wise, the past almost 2 1/2 months have been really great. It's really an all rounder thing after moving from Marketing. I've been really making use of the "connection" I made during then to get my job done in my new department now. But there's just one silly thing I seem to always do...being forgetful to send this ONE particular email out everyday. UGH. I should really put up a big ass note on my monitor.

You know, I just realised that I don't think I'd be used to not being with Naz now...not having him asleep by my side, not waking up next to him...being married is ok so far. Mom said, "It's not gonna set in until when you finally have kids of your own...that's when the real test begins".

Time to buzz off.

Still Bogged Down

2009-03-25T23:01:00.003+08:00

Still busy. In fact, while I was in Marketing...at least I could still have a wee bit of space to breathe but being in Sales now is just different in its own way. Am enjoying the speed but time is seemingly short these days. It's like before I know it...the alarm is sounding to wake me up. And then before I know it, its 5.30pm...the official off-work time (but I normally stay back late). I wish there's 30 hours in a day *sigh*

Lately, I also find myself wanting to stay at work later and later mainly coz I don't feel like going back to my "new" home. Avoid a conflict before it strikes you. That's the best policy when you live with your PIL. But somehow or rather, no matter how quiet you are, you will get hints that you will kena some day soon too. What the heck seriously. I've seen it happen to my SIL so I kinda have like a major prep for it already and know what to and what not to do even though sometimes these precautionary measures don't always work.

Anyway, I am really thankful for friends who are helping me through this "difficult" period, which in my opinion is supposed to be an event to look forward to by all brides but unfortunately, I just can't wait till it's over. If can, I don't even want to have the reception. Shitload of headache and shitload stubborn people who are too spoilt by always being in control. I mean, I like to be in control too but there's always a thing called meeting in the middle.

Ok, enough of all these crappy craps. I'm gonna fit in some time to continue studying my newfound language.

Toodles. F*** this shit I tell you. I'm sorry, I'm pretty pissed, annoyed, stressed and everything that a normal bride shouldn't be. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And of course, I have to thank my tulang belakang for being a punching bag once in awhile. Did I mention that I dropped gym and picked up kickboxing instead? Its a good anger relief outlet! It's not like I'm an angry person but I have been really kickass bad mood the past weeks.

Bogged

2009-03-15T12:09:00.002+08:00

Bogged down by too many things until the extent where I had to force myself to go on MC or else I'd be dead this coming week. I have a project to run, planning to help my boss with and a damn wedding reception to handle. I don't have time for myself, I don't have time to see my parents, I don't have time to do anything. Everytime when I come back, I'm either too tired or...well, I end up just being too tired I sleep early and wake up early the next day to start another routine.

Seeing that I'm so busy, I don't think I'd even have the time to think of asking for help so the least you could do is sit me down and ask me if I need help and not just offer yourself and not do it and expect me to remind you!

My Life as a Mrs

2009-03-12T20:47:00.002+08:00

Nothing changed except the fact that I get to bring bekal to work everyday with my breakfast in it, which I think is healthy and good since I always eat my breakfast late and drink too much coffee. So now its just warm honey and my MIL's breakfast. I wake up feeling really fresh everyday because I now sleep before 12 midnight..somehow, he makes me sleepy and I no longer roam online till the wee hours of the morning. I'm dividing my days with the MIL and my mom and the good thing is, I get home cooked food everyday except Fri, Sat and Sunday coz mom now cooks more often than before (basically everytime when I'm supposed to be back, she'd cook).

I still feel a bit weird though...but I guess I'm warming up to my "new" family. I'm still a bit cautious and making sure that I don't screw things up around them until I move outa there. Haha. I leave for work earlier now and am damn happy to reach my office before 8.30am coz I can get more things done. The planning team is just me and my boss and he left me alone on my infant week and all the screw ups from the sales guys had to happen while he's away. But it's good learnings coz I have more opportunity to take on more responsibilities. My ex-boss is still coming to me on stuffs. Finance lady said, "Thats why lah...last time throw all the work to you...now suffer lah she". The MTs who switched with us looked a bit jaded already and it's been just 1 1/2 months. I guess they just need more "getting used to" time and everyone seems to be saying that me and Julian didn't look as stressed as them while we were in the department.

I think I'm becoming a bit more conscious of myself or rather kiasu because I just wanna make sure that I become a "good" wife to him. Somehow after the akad nikah, I felt relieved as now I can just concentrate fully on making my way up the career ladder. My mom thinks I'm becoming a workaholic. Perhaps its my love for the company and job. I'm now running a project with one of the key accounts and it's hell I tell you. 11 outlets to audit and study...but I'm really looking forward to presenting it. I love presentations but I'm kinda worried now about obtaining some internal data...like I don't really know where to begin. Sigh.

MATTA Fair is here. Island holiday. Hmm....anyway, I can't wait for our honeymoon end of April. Just nice after I finish my project and before I switch team with Julian. I feel a bit sick now. Should rest more.

Toodles.

Killing Time On My Nikah Day

2009-02-28T13:01:00.004+08:00

It's 1pm and I am bored. I'm beginning to think that I am SERIOUSLY forgetting to do something. How can I be so free? Anyway, while waiting to be picked up, here's a meme I curi-ed from somewhere and I'm gonna fill it up just because I have TOO MUCH time to spare :

Shampoo & Conditioner: L'Oreal Vitacolor & Paul Mitchell Hair Conditioner (Normal)

Styling products: None

Shower Gel: L'Occitane in Cherry Blossom

Body moisturizer: L'Occitane in Cherry Blossom

Deodorant: Speedstick in Orchard Blossom

Fake Tan: None

Cleanser: The Clinique 3-Steps Cleanser thing in dry-combination

Eye makeup remove : L'Oreal for Eyes and Lips

Exfoliator: Neutrogena Gentle Scrub

Primer : Biotherm White Detox Primer

Foundation : Bobbi Brown Long Wearing Liquid Foundation in SPF25 (Sand)

Foundation brush: None

Concealer: Bobbi Brown Concealor in Sand (i think)

Powder: No7 by Boots

Blusher: Benefit Posietint + Dandelion blusher & Bobbi Brown Cheek Rouge

Bronzer: None

Highlighter: Benefit High Beam

Eyeshadow base: None

Eyeshadows: Bobbi Brown (natural) & Shu Uemura (for more intensity)

Eyeliner: Bobbi Brown Gel Liner in Espresso & Christian Dior Waterproof Eye Pencil in Kohl

Eyelash curler: Shu Uemura

Eyelash base: None

Mascara: Anna Sui DX Full Waterproof

Lipstick: Bobbi Brown and Channel

Lipgloss: Clinique & Lancome

Nail colour: I don't do it myself so it's normally OPI or Creative

Teehee...my mani and pedi yesterday was so damn syiok. This time, I went for a soft and elegant look. Just a basic French and dusty pink for my toes. For next month's reception, I'm gonna do something more. What a girly fun. Poor Naz, I hope he don't get panic and screw up his lines while I sit there and look pretty =P

Mr. & Mrs. Nazwan

2009-02-26T20:29:00.005+08:00

Mom has been keeping the album and our framed up portrait in her room...either admiring it or thinking about how her eldest baby will be leaving her soon, probably about 2.5km away from home. Hahaha. Grandma didn't recognize me so I suspect she needs her eyes checked coz I don't think I look any much different than when I do my own make up except maybe my eyes look sharper. My youngest sister is so excited and she insist that it's not because she can finally have my room. The middle one is more concern about what to wear to my akad nikah on Saturday. Dad on the other hand, I suspect is controlling macho...and he came back happily saying that his new car (which is gonna be my wedding ride) is getting Kastam clearance now and will arrive next weekend.

Naz? I haven't seen him this whole week and he thinks that God is purposely testing us before our akad nikah. I suspect he is trying to enjoy his last days of bachelorhood in Pyramid Tower under the pretense of having some company training thing. Me? I took leave tomorrow because the mak andam is coming by in the morning and the canopy people at night. Sigh. Why am I the only one handling the wedding when some fat ass promised to help do follow up calls for me with the wedding vendors? In the end, I have to call them while I'm driving all the time or while I'm doing store checks. There goes my lunch date with the girls. Dinner date maybe. Wedding reception also I have to handle. WTF..? But seriously, I'm a bit excited about looking all pretty and prepped up. Haha. There's so much to do and I don't think I can move some of my things this weekend. Gosh. Luckily we live very close by.

I really hope my mom won't tear up coz if she does, I confirm gone adi...sure follow along.

Songs to accompany my many mood changes lately :

Leona Lewis : Better In Time
Leona Lewis : Forgive Me
Leona Lewis : I Will Be..
Lauren Wood : Fallen
Rain : September 12
Taylor Swift : Love Story
Wondergirls : Nobody
Late Night Alumni : Meant To Be
Pussycat Dolls : Bottle Pop
Ne-Yo : Miss Independent

Nearer and nearer the frustrations is greater

2009-02-15T20:16:00.005+08:00

It's 12 more days before the big day. I think I've settled pretty much the big stuffs and will be making way for those little tiny details to worry about especially during the few days before both the 28s. I went out for an all girl's night last Friday and ate so much at Delicious. We were laughing about how we'd either drink too much or eat too much and it's so unhealthy. Then I told them about how I heard married women are singled out by their single friends coz married women are not suppose to have single's fun. Harhar. They think that it's not true especially di zaman sekarang and even if it was, I'm not going to let them happen to me. Girls gotta let their hair down once in awhile you know *winks*

You know, it's not easy to be different from the norm especially when the kuno Asian culture or rather mentality is still stubbornly stuck in some idiots' head. And sometimes, it sucks to feel horrible coz even though you feel that there's no need to explain yourself but if you don't, people will continue to talk and hurt the people around you? Sometimes I'm also sad to know that people whom I deem close to me are easily influenced by what others' say. It's like they'd rather jive to other people's music than to their own? Again, I blame it on the "nak muka" culture. It's also disappointing to know that what ever you do will never be deemed as good as something that is 10x worse than what you're doing. And it hurts even more when I put the one I love in dilemma and at the same time get frustrated because you feel that he won't go all out to stand up for you but just take everything in and brush it off one side later. I want someone who will protect me and my family and I understand that there's a fine line for that but if you are obviously wrongly accused of something, I will never keep quiet even if it means arguing with my parents because no one person is right all the time.

Sometimes I wish some people would just stop talking behind my back and pretend to be all nice to me in front. I now understand the reason to why I was warned earlier...and it's not because I am being envied by but rather to keep me on my toes so the same thing won't happen to me. No one was born with an evil heart but circumstances turned them into what they are today and in a way, I don't blame that person but my patience has its limits and it better last long enough or all hell will break loose. I know it is no right to demand to be treated better just because I made some sacrifices which I think is enough to justify what I deserve, coz at the end of the day I did it with a willing heart but sometimes, I just can't help but to list down every single thing I went through and demand for a form of compensation for it. I really feel so bullied and so taken advantage of..like they've never taken my feelings and what I went through into consideration and to sieve through their narrow mindedness. I always feel like I've been doing so much giving and they have been doing all the receiving emotionally. How convenient. I don't need material generousity but I just wish that they can lend their support and kindness emotionally instead of being so bitchy about every damn fucking thing.

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Valentine's was just another ordinary Saturday coz we celebrated it on the 10th along with our 5th year together. But it was definitely relaxing in many ways as we, or rather I, got to lounge at home in PJs and watch DVD while catching up on some rest time that we've been longing to have. I guess we just needed to breathe and put everything but us away for a day. Ip Man was good. I was like "whoa" all the way and I'm always impressed when it comes to these kinda kungfu movies and not all those corny effects ones. If only we were in our own home. I just can't wait till we move in to our place...our own place that we can call "ours" and make sure that we have our own privacy and not being invaded everyday like as if we can't take care of ourselves.

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Work has been alright. Though the learning curve is not as high as the time I was in marketing, it's good learning in its own way. There are times that I feel that my skills and knowledge is not being tested much and I am not being worked to my optimum level? So it frustrates me a lot. Dad said to enjoy this "honeymoon" month and just go with the flow and play my game right. So yeah, I'm doing just that now and using the time I have to prepare for the wedding as well. There's just so much I want to do and I really need to sit down and plan out my year properly.

I guess this is the longest I've blogged so far. Work tomorrow. I'm not really that excited anymore. Annual dinner cum team building this Thursday/Friday.

Till then. Maybe that's why I suddenly feel the need to travel alone...to breathe and to clear my mind, even from my loved ones.

Moved

2009-02-03T23:36:00.004+08:00

I think the new year is filled with changes and new things...good things like becoming a wife and moving to another department @ work..oh..and also moving out (not so much of a good thing but with my husband-to-be). Ok, come to think of it, it's not a good thing! Become wife already cannot act kebudak-budakan, cannot this cannot that or else mother will scold and say, "Oi! You big girl adi lah...people's wife already you know? Can have kids already you know? When I was your age...blablablablbalbala". Then moving to another department wasn't all fun too coz I'm having some kind of a marketing withdrawal syndrome. Must be terlampau "glamour" until kena culture shock by the cowboyness of the sales department. LOL. First day was kinda interesting also lah..it's like starting on a new job. Moving out is sooo not a good thing. Imagine all the air liur and peluh on my bed of 9 years? I don't salivate by the way. Sigh. I'm gonna miss my room so much that I told Naz I'm gonna bring over my sleeping pillows and try to turn the bed to be a lil like the one at home. Teruk right? This kinda wife also got. That's why can get this kinda husband. Tsk.

We finally settled the Tok Kadi. But nikah timing a bit weird. Ade ke pukul 5 petang? All coz he don't wanna go back home and out again for the 8pm session.

Sleepy. Went to work so early today to finish up some stuffs before I moved. The traffic wasn't any much different at 7am compared to 8am. Bleh.

Joy To The World

2009-02-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!! This year was fun coz we went back to my mom's hometown and everyone was back this time including my distant relatives. Awesome. My last year to collect angpow and I managed to get big big angpows. Hahaha. Ate my heart out in KB...gosh I gorged on nasi kerabu, nasi dagang, akok, ayam percik, nasi lauk...nasi nasi nasi. It's crazy my waist grew a bit I think. Time to work them out already before I start busting the buttons of my wedding gown =P

First day of work today and OMG I feel like biting someone's head off. I'm supposed to handover to my boss already so I can freaking move my ass to sales but work keeps piling up (from her) and it's definitely neverending. I stayed back so late at work today I totally drained all my brain cells. Cannot stand weh. I was like "Screw it man" and started replying mails to get them to liaise with my boss and not me anymore. Sheesh. Summore she can ask me to hold the "fort" for her coz the whole team won't be around tomorrow.

Wedding stuffs settled. It's finally OVER. I finally can call my tok kadi to book him for nikah date. I'm so so so super relieved.

Good things come to those who rants her head off =P Goodnight. I think I will go to work early tomorrow to finish some nonsense before I blah.

Jaded

2009-01-22T20:36:00.003+08:00

This week is by far the worst week ever in RB. I think I just drained my brain cells. Tomorrow will be my last day before I start a whole new experience in another department. Can't wait. But I have never been so disappointed in myself for a long time and yesterday was the first after so many years. Sigh.

Wedding invites are here. They look simple and pretty. Love it. Mom likes it too.

I am drained. Burnt out.

3 Keping Sudah

2009-01-18T21:58:00.006+08:00

Deb's birthday last night. I haven't been so wasted since 7 years ago and thankfully Aaron was around to drive both me and Theresa home and of course, dearest dearest future husband had to drive me back to Deb's house this morning to grab my car. Hahaha. Got husband already have to make full use of him mah right? LOL.

The birthday gathering was good. We had awesome food, awesome people and awesome booze. Mad woman I tell you. I think I drank even more than the birthday boy (the other birthday baby). All was good. I didn't suffer a hangover. Another week before CNY. I want a big big big big 25th birthday this year. Woot!~

Busy week ahead. Can't wait for my week long break.

Muslim Marriage Procedures

2009-01-15T21:51:00.003+08:00

This is by far the most f*cked up day ever since I started my wedding preps last year. Seriously, they have to do something about the whole going back and forth thing just to freaking get a Tok Kadi to solemnize the marriage. I am so sick of government processes and is even more pissed off when it comes to the nikah procedures. I've had enough of waiting and wasting my time at the pejabat agama, I've had enough of taking leaves to do something that takes only an hour at most for at least 4 times. I have a freaking job to keep and money to earn but these people shake their asses and chit chat while handling the documents like as if they are the Prime Minister. As much as I want to shake off that perception of mine but OMG, f*cking work faster already!

I took half day leave last week to do my HIV test. Then, I had to rush back from work another day because the imam at the mosque is only free on Tuesdays/Saturdays night and he made us wait for quite awhile to sign our papers and witness the signing of the forms. Then I had to go to MAIS in Shah Alam to send in my nikah forms and waited like hell long before they settled our papers. Immediately after that I had to go to the Syariah Court to get forms to request for Wali Hakim because my dad is not Muslim so he can't give me away and I don't have any relatives on his side who is a Muslim. But guess what? The idiot man in MAIS said, "Oh, hanya fotokopi IC 2 saksi saje" but guess what? I don't even need the photocopies of the IC but I need my birthcert! So we freaking went to the court for nothing thinking that we could submit the forms there and then and just wait for them to call me up to sumpah to get my wali hakim. And their operation time? 9am - 12.30noon and 2pm - 3.45pm. I don't have to work is it? How many more rounds to go? 3 more....first to freaking hand in my forms to the court and read my afidavit and then another to go to court for the swearing session, which I don't know when they'll call me and the last one is to send ALL the forms back to MAIS again to get our Tok Kadi's contact to book him for our akad nikah. From the looks of their work speed, I don't think we'd be able to nikah on the 28th Feb even. Damn WTF. 5 times and in 5 different days!

This crap is really testing my patience a lot and it's not even helping much when there are other issues that are annoying the crap out of me as well. When I'm in a really bad mood, I'd go "Screw this shit...I don't want to get married! So susah". You don't see civil marriages being so difficult you know. Just standardize every state's Islamic ruling and get over your ego so everyone's life will be easier. Nak kahwin pun susah. Lepas kahwin lagi susah. Tak kahwin pun susah.

I know I know...P.Ramlee would say, "cObaan" and good will come after this but I doubt so. After I settle all these shit, I have to settle my temporary logistics pulak. And kecoh people are not helping make things better for me. And recently when a colleague of mine announced her engagement, I was tempted to say to her "Are you sure you're ready to go through hell in wedding preps?" but she seems happy so I don't wanna poop her bubble.

Swapping will take place immediately when work reopens after CNY. My boss and I are not ready. She may request for a one week delay from my next boss. I'm trying to clear as much as possible and do up my handover now already.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I can hardly breathe.

Workaholic

2009-01-12T21:30:00.002+08:00

Feb will be the swap-over month. Julian & I will go to sales while the other two MTs will come over to Marketing. I'm really gonna miss the rush and workload and the satisfaction of having your plans all executed and seeing the results later. No one will be taking over my place as another category has more crucial need for a replacement. Poor boss. She's like freaking out a little thinking about the load she's gonna have without me. Haha. But I did tell her that I'll try to finish up and handover my part efficiently so she won't go crazy later.

I think I'm turning into a workaholic. Probably coz I really love my job now. There isn't a day where I didn't feel like going to work or dread waking up. One bad sign is that I still check my office mails as we communicate a lot with the Londoners so the time difference is really crappy. It makes you want to go back to the office to send out the stuffs they need since I can't access my work drive from home.

The bloody gym lost my card. Switched it with another member so I'm hoping that this "Diana" will realise that she's not "Rosalind" and return it in her next visit. Bodoh benar.

New Phase, New Year

2009-01-11T23:37:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was our 4years 11months anniversary and it has been quite awhile since we actually went out for real dinner. Another month will be our 5th year and I was joking with mom about how 25years is silver and all so 5th year might just be paper and dad was like, "Then the one year or less?" and I said, "Rubbish". So bad right? =P I think I'm such a baby despite being the eldest. I was complaining about how I have to move to my in-laws' and I actually said to mom that it'd be like a 9 months stayover before we move into our own place. The best part was when she almost choked on her morning coffee when I said, "Mummy, what if I'm supposed to drive back to the other house but I end up driving back home?" and she said, "I will chase you away, don't worry". I guess I should grow up...you know....really grow up. I've grown up in many ways but somehow, I'm still so attached to my mom. I don't think I will adapt easily into my new life. Imagine living with my family for coming 18 years in this house....all the memories and laughter...it's not gonna be the same. It's so quiet the other side and it's gonna take a lot of getting used to. I won't be surprised if half way through the night, I'd just take a 3 min drive back home just to bug my mom in her room. I will miss my sisters, the youngest especially coz she's so noisy and she follows me everywhere when I'm around.

Suddenly I'm thinking about the future without my parents...sigh...it's time to grow up Rosa, you're not 5 anymore...you're gonna be 25 this year. I also said that I would probably be in tears at my wedding. Damn bodoh but I seriously think I will cry....I told mom not to cry the night before my wedding. Haha. And she said she won't, damn tipu. I can bet with you my favourite pair of shoes that she will cry and miss me so much =P Lately, she's been giving me so many advice about marriage and how to be a good wife....first thing she said was, "If you ever bully Naz, I will ask him to come complain to me". What the hell? Some kind of mother right? So I complained to dad and all he said was, "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil". I have mean parents who loves me dearly. Heehee.

Things with me and Naz...well....I think we're changing in many ways...at least I am and it's taking a bit of getting used to for him. I feel like we're doing the role reversal now. To me, I think it's a good thing and whatever that is happening now, I feel that if it's handled appropriately...it will be really good for us in our marriage. He was saying that Ms.Independent (Ne-yo) is the perfect song for the "me" now. I also know that it is not easy for him but I trust that he will soon grow with me and we'd be at the same wavelength again just as how I caught up with him in the past. I'm still referring to him as my boyfriend somehow and not fiance. I don't know why...it's not like I'm not proud but I'm just too used to "boyfriend" so what the hell lah. March onwards, it's gonna be "husband". Gosh. It's still so surreal and sometimes when I'm driving to work, I'd be like thinking bout how & what we did to get to this level.....and it's a lot...so imagine another few decades together...

There are a lot of things going on in my head now...I've learnt not to plan too much, to be more spontaneous and I think that I like it a lot....I've been staying home a lot too and spending much lesser time at Naz's compared to last time. It's really obvious coz his dad just asked me where have I been when I saw him today. I'm just having a bad symptom of soon-to-be withdrawal syndrome. Julian says I'm crazy coz I'm talking like I'm marrying a foreigner and moving to another country.

Time to sleep. Till my next post. Regional review this week. Busy week especially if my boss goes OTT kan cheong.

OMG Happy 2009

2009-01-06T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hello. Been awhile. Happy New Year and I just realised that I have been blogging at this site for a year+ already.

Recap on 2008? Well, the most memorable moments/experience was of course the fact that Naz proposed to me, I got a hell-ish first job but the current one is going great and my solo trip to Seoul.

The holiday was good. I had a lot of personal time and also got around doing my own things and well, just thinking about myself only for once. It's a really liberating feeling and of course, this won't be the last of it. Having learnt Japanese a lil before made it easier for me to understand Korean coz the grammatical order of the sentence are alike. All I neeeded to do was just build on my vocab. My card obviously bombed a lil. Haha. And it snowed on my last day there I actually wished there was a bad storm so my flight would be delayed. Haha. At least I had my white white Christmas. What a way to end the year.

I find myself wanting to do a lot this year. I'm trying to do as much as I can in 24 hours...productive activities and I'm also thinking about kick-starting my hobbies and interests back again. I mean, there are of course sacrifices to be made, people who will be unhappy but I just feel like it's time to start a good year of self pampering.

Holiday mood still going on but workload is unbelievably piling up. Oh well, CNY is coming. Another break. Whoop!~

FRIM and Kidchan

2008-12-19T23:12:00.006+08:00

It was such a tiring day I practically slept through my evening and almost skipped dinner. Weddings are not easy....and marriage...lets not even get there. We were at FRIM at 7 freaking a.m in the morning and thank goodness the weather was awesome and the lighting and all was good to create the pic mood. Can't wait till we view the pics after Christmas. I was so busy and stressed up the night before the shoot. Came home only around 10pm after finishing up some work and rushing off to The Curve to buy my last minute accessories.

Of course, being busy and all, I'm so thankful that I have such an understanding and easy-to-bully fiance whom I delegated the job of picking up the baju kurung/Melayu in KL after work. Hahaha. Mom was great too steam ironing all my gowns and his outfits.

So thank goodness for early preps, I managed to survive through wedding planning, photoshoot, kursus kahwin and now I'm left with my akad nikah day and the wedding reception. Two more rounds of stress.

Stupid office mail not working. So much for not spending anymore, keluar makan at ss15 also can end up buying shoes.

p/s : OMG...its been a year since I started blabbing here.

[no title]

2008-12-15T21:27:00.001+08:00

So tired. So busy. So sleepy. So much work. So many events coming up. So so looking forward to holiday.

Conversion, Kursus Kahwin and Planning

2008-12-14T20:12:00.003+08:00

What a week! So much for Marketing relaxing during year end...I'm so filled with things to do and wedding preps to keep up with until I don't have time to breathe man.

Went to convert on Thursday. JAWI is so much more flexible than MAIS..for now. Unfortunately, coz "Rosalind" doesn't have a Muslim meaning to it and I didn't wanna put "bt. Abdullah" or "bt. Hong" or watever, I had to make do with an Aliyah as my middle name. Luckily I had my backup or else I'd surely have some silly name later. So it's Rosalind Aliyah Hong. Everything else maintains, I just have my kad Islam and that's it. Best part is, I think my freaking pic in the kad Islam is so much better than my IC. Hmph. And Aliyah means "tall". So ngam.

Kursus kahwin was quite an enlightening period but I slept through a few of the ceramah and sometimes went on MSN for awhile. Seriously, sit until backside pain for 1 1/2 days. It's crazy. If every state had the same Islamic ruling then the bloody marriage procedure won't be so complicated, confusing and time consuming.

Anyway, it's finally over...now its time to start the paperwork process. Gosh. I really can't wait for my holiday. End of this week photoshoot...wedding card printing. I have yet to follow up with my decor lady and I need to confirm things with the mak andam. Calendar full kao kao. Luckily I have my mom to keep me reminded.

Korean won value dropping. Yay.

New Baby

2008-12-07T11:27:00.003+08:00

I got myself a new gadget. Hoho. I've been eye-ing on it for a very long time and finally got myself to buying it yesterday.

BBQ tonight. I am looking forward to tasting our chicken wings cos the marinade tasted awesome. Haha. Puji ownself.

I am so so glad my boss and I finished everything we needed to before the long weekend. Next week another busy week. We call it the Freddy briefing session since our Asian region head is like coming down for cat. updates. Bleh. Thank goodness deadline is before all the leave slots I took for December. That way I know I can go off for my holidays in peace.

Collected my white wedding gown, completed the fitting for my kebaya and baju akad nikah (which was perfect!!) and did our wedding invites *phew*. The shoes were a perfect match as well.

p/s: The MT pres went on so well. Everyone did so good our directors were proud of us. My Mkg Dir. was so proud of Julian and I. Thank gawd. Now it's over! Next round would be in Sales.

Lousy Klutzy

2008-12-02T21:09:00.003+08:00

I am such a graceful klutz. I fell down right at the petrol kiosk (knee first) and my knee bled, my pants now has a hole at the knee area. Damn ganas but the first thing that came to mind was, "Shit, my shoes!". Poor shoe...the tip of it turned out looking like it geser-ed the stairs for a year. Luckily it's not that visible from the top view. I loved it so much. Sheesh. And it was new from Kitsch. Of course, when I fell....I actually managed to get up within a split second. Haha. Texted Julian and Naz. And Julian was like lauhing. Celaka. But he did ask if I hurt my ankle. Hmph.

I can't wait for the coming 3-day weekend! Woot!~

Silent Achiever

2008-12-01T21:21:00.003+08:00

I am gonna nail it this Thursday. I am a silent achiever and I will make my team proud. I will show them how driven I am and how passionate I am on my projects. I will be confident. I will be awesome. I will show them that I am taking full advantage of the opportunity given and I will show them that they made the right decision to choose me as an MT. I am the silent achiever!

It's obvious I'm trying to psych myself up for this Thursday's presentation. Haha.

Stayed back quite late today. In fact, Julian and I were the last to leave. Luckily he teman-ed me, our roads are not safe anymore.

Chic Nail Spa

2008-11-29T19:38:00.005+08:00

I highly recommend this place. It's in Bangsar Village 2, 3rd Floor..same row as Celebrity Fitness (but will move to 1st flr same row with Marmalade on the 18th Dec). Been there like 4 times already and I always come out satisfied. The quality is just excellent and you won't come out disappointed. I'm going there again to do my nails before the wedding shoot and then another on the evening before my flight. Haha. Freshly manicured hands for the holiday...a brilliant idea.

Who does my nails? A person whom I think is passionate about the business and not some silly nail spa therapist who's just there to earn her $.

So happy today cos I bought this pretty white graphic heels from Kitsch. It's so so so adorable. I'm going back there again for more...definitely.

Need to finish up my presentation....

And yes, I've been slacking terribly in wedding preps. Next Saturday itself I'll be collecting my wedding gown, going for my kebaya and baju akad nikah fitting and meet the supplier for my wedding invites. Tomorrow I promised mom to go shop for cheongsam for my sisters and chinese outfit for my dad and Naz. I might just get an extra pair of cheongsam too. Haha. So yeah, that's that on wedding preps. As for the honeymoon, we're gonna settle that when I come back from Seoul. So done. At least I have a list up....it's gonna be a busy December with the conversion and kursus going on. Bleh.

TGIF

2008-11-28T23:30:00.006+08:00

845am : Reached office

900am : Work work work

1230pm : Lunch

2pm : Back to work. Settle everything before going out

3pm : Out of Office. Picked Julian and headed down to KL Convention Center for Media Prima 2009 screening

4pm : On the road still. Horrible jam.

5pm : Enjoying the plans for 2009 and channel screenings. Mouth wide open cos Ahmad Izham, Idris Jalal, TM CEO and CEO X was freaking jamming on the stage. Hohoho. My fav Jack Neo and Mark Lee were present.

6pm : Makan makan lepak lepak social social. Lotsa beautiful people around. Spotted a big rock on Belinda. Shiny shiny 1 carat berlian. Hahaha.

7pm : Left KL....Potato CD looped 3 times before we reached Pyramid and parted ways. Bloated myself up with too much food.

1143pm : Dead tired. Should be sleeping.

I also won myself a Desperate Housewife cookie making set which I'm not gonna open. Heehee.

TIGAHHHHHHH!!!!!

My 1st Paps

2008-11-27T20:01:00.004+08:00

Went for GVS Media Briefing today and got myself a decent paps package from Primanora. The place is just awesome, like a one stop women centre. As they aptly put it, "It takes care of you from womb to tomb". It's about time I start doing paps anyway. Have always wanted to do it but never had the time and finally now, I'm able to engage this gynae whom I've always admired since I was a kid. Mostly cos' my dad always spoke about her and how awesome she is. I even know who and where to have my first kid next time. LOL.

Was either out or had training the whole day. So basically today was like so unproductive cos' I couldn't get much done.

How fast time pass, tomorrow is Friday already. And then comes the weekend. Woot!~

Jealousy, Women's Worst Enemy

2008-11-25T23:09:00.004+08:00

You cannot escape "jealousy"...it's freaking everywhere. The only difference is that either you're jealous of someone or someone is jealous of you. Either way, it's just bad. It happens everywhere even if you're just an innocent bystander....

Damn malas nak layan. Time to go sleep.

French Manicure Rejuvenates Me

2008-11-22T18:36:00.005+08:00

I'm officially drained to the core. All the "tai-chi-ing" is pushing me to my limits already. Almost fell asleep during Madagascar but luckily I didn't. Heehee. I want to open a nail parlour and I think Sally Hansen's "idiot proof" french manicure set is just brilliant =P

My baju akad nikah and dinner kebaya is ready for fitting. So excited I can't wait. Went to see the Mak Andam to settle our akad nikah thingy and I really like her more despite her being like a nenek coz she tells lotsa stories (which I love but don't always have the time for).

I'm planning to do nothing tonight....

Today is Tuesday NOT Wednesday

2008-11-18T20:30:00.003+08:00

So fast November is ending...and then come December and December is so full of holidays! And then it's January. OMG.

I'm gonna look for a nice cocktail gown...a playful one.

My next 3 days is gonna be so boringggg. No one to ber-scandal with. Bleh.

The Night That Was...

2008-11-16T18:53:00.003+08:00

...so funny and full of crazy nonsense. Plus, the flu didn't stop me from partying the night away. Hahaha. But of course, after using up my last drop of "battery" I was so OUT. I think we might just have another round of celebration for Victor's birthday this month end. Damn tipu...celebrate so early!

Note to self : Remember to bring loads of Strepsils, Nurofen and take a flu shot/bring loads of Vitamin C for my trip. No way I'm gonna fall sick on my holi-holiday.

Busy Week

2008-11-14T18:32:00.002+08:00

Like the chinese saying that translates into "Got time to work, no time to fall sick" or something like that. My canto is bad. So yeah, I'm like struggling between having a sore throat and a bit of a stuffed nose...really really eating lotsa Strepsils and Vit C so I won't get flu and cough. It's just horrible. I really can't afford to fall sick when there's so many things to do (work and wedding wise). Today we were struggling to cross-check our budget for year end closing. It was crazy. Good experience though despite being here for only 3 1/3 months. As I've mentioned before, the learning curve in this company is really high and the knowledge and experience I've gained is comparable to a year's worth of experience. I'm really enjoying myself here so the stress and all is well worth it. Gotta prepare for a presentation soon to the directors. Ugh.

Weekend is here. Another birthday celebration with the November babies tomorrow night. I hope I won't fall sick after tomorrow. Haha.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2008-11-10T00:42:00.008+08:00

OMG. I take back my previous post (but he said to leave it so everyone can laugh at me). Never expected him to be so.....WOW.....only a genius would've been able to sneak behind my back and do what he did for me today. For the first time in his entire almost 5 years with me, he actually had a detailed plan executed!

I never expected a surprise party...a surprise waiting for me at home yes but not a whole bunch of friends waiting at my house and jumping from the stairs and the kitchen and the room...gawd. I was so overwhelmed with happiness I had tears in my eyes! The best part was, I thought it'll just stop at the "Happy Birthday!!!" with balloons and all but no, suddenly everything moved so fast I saw one group bringing out the BBQ pit and then the other started setting up the tables and my family bringing out the food. SO EFFICIENT.

I had loads of fun tonight. Thank you darling for doing what you did. I'm sorry for being so grumpy today till my mom had to tell EVERYONE while I wasn't around that "Rosalind is very moody today". Thank you for planning everything and getting my colleagues, ex-colleagues (now good friends) and our friends to celebrate this awesome day. I'm sorry you had to spend so much time preparing all the food on your own and got so tired from it. It's the best birthday gift anyone can give me....I'm the happiest girl on earth now and because of you, I will wake up and sleep everyday (till the helium habis) with balloons filled up at my ceiling. Daddy said, "Next time, remember what he did for you today before you ever get angry". Cis. Men.

I will go to sleep smiling tonight. No more surprise birthdays anymore coz I know I definitely can't top his. I thought mine for him was great 2 years ago but no, his was like 20x better and definitely wayyyyyy much more effort put in.

Happy 24th Birthday to me.

Bugging Birthday

2008-11-09T11:21:00.005+08:00

I'm really really tired of always being the one organizing parties, gifts, and every damn thing for everyone and find it so frustrating when people ask me what do I want for my birthday or what I want to do. Why can't they just do it for me the way I do it for them. And when I tell them what I would like, it will never get done. It's not like I ask for out of the world stuffs to be done. And then at the end of the day, I feel so neglected...so uncared for and so unwanted. Next time, I will never bother about people's birthdays anymore or any damn thing about them. I'm so sick of being the one taking care of other people's needs but when it comes to me, no one steps forth to care unless asked to. I don't want to go out and then want to buy something and others say that they would treat me and the purchase is a gift. NO! I want to be surprised just as how I surprise them. I want to be able to open gifts I don't know and be surprised and not choosing it on my own. I want to be told that I have to make myself free because my family wants to celebrate my birthday with me.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Frustration I guess. I'm just so pissed off with everything The only time I felt so cared for even though it's just tiny gesture was when my boss made sure I kept myself free tomorrow. I don't know....I would go the extra mile for anyone....I guess I'm just frustrated with my loved ones. They're the most important person in my life and I have done so much for them but they always seem so indifferent when it comes to my special day. It really made me cry and this is not the first time it happened. I remember having my birthday forgotten when I was 16 before. And so far...I will never forget my 19th birthday.

Baby Shower

2008-11-08T00:05:00.002+08:00

Not mine.

Our marketing director has always been a really nice girly girl awesome person. She actually organized a baby shower for one of our MM who's gonna give birth within these two weeks. Her place is so cosy I really liked it. The kids were so gorgeous OMG.

Anyway, it's my first baby shower and I realised that almost everyone who has a kid or will have a kid actually have more sons than daughters. Gosh...I have a feeling it runs in the department. I hope I'll be the odd one out when it's my "turn".

Tired. Decided not to stayover at his place. I love my job.

Busy Week

2008-11-06T22:20:00.004+08:00

While my boss is busy doing her PPR, I'm busy handling the category performance updates and following up on the launches. I was so darn free in the morning but couldn't breathe after lunch. The road back have been quite clear the past few days I actually reach home before 630pm everyday (provided I leave at 530pm sharp) so today, I decided to go check on one of my brand posm execution. My first baby was spotted in-store and I quietly took a picture of it to use for my MT presentation. Heehee. And then my second baby arrived in the office and it was gorgeous. Lets just hope it reaches Singapore in one piece cos I had to get creative and used two Fedex boxes to hold it.

Another 3 1/2 more months before akad nikah. Gosh. So fast. Things are definitely gonna change a lot and I'm gonna miss sleeping in my own room and leaving home. If only the apartment is ready next year. Bleh. It's like "staying over" at Naz's house for a year. Haha. I'm so gonna request to come back and stay home once during the week. How terrible =P Baik takyah kahwin.

Everything's settled for the holiday...or did I mention that already? I almost got a heart attack when I saw the ticket price while printing my itinerary but luckily it wasn't my receipt price. I thought I got cheated online. Hah. Now I should just find some time to make a list of places not to be missed and slowly do up a checklist. Can't wait.

Another year, another birthday. But as we grow older, somehow I find that birthdays are overrated unless of course you do it big and with a group of friends you love. Halloween party for my 25th birthday next year. We'll be sure to make it a blast!!

************

I hardly refer you as my fiance and would still term you as my boyfriend...out of habit I guess. But having you by my side and still, even after the short period of jitters, made me feel so blessed to be soon married to you. Life would change for sure, I hardly expect a bed of roses and I know that good or bad, you'll always be the glue that will keep us strong no matter how difficult our road may be. But I think you should help me with the chores cos I'm not superwoman. I can't work and come back to clean and cook all the time. Just remember that the bathrooms are yours to clean...the dishes too...and hanging the laundry...the rest, I can do it because you are bad at it =P There's a baby shower tomorrow and the thought of having babies next time is freaking me out. GAWD. Imagine the stretchmarks. So lets just have hamsters ok? That's a deal.

Sal said we're like the song M.F.E.O by Kavana. I think she's right. I still owe you a banana cake. I love you and thank you for encouraging me to go on the Christmas holiday even though I know you want so much to go with me (toooooo baddddd.......).

**************

Sorry tergendala awhile with the mushiness. Toodles.

Culture

2008-11-03T21:13:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we won't know how lucky we are until we meet someone outside our circle and listen to their side of the story.

I never believed in going home late from work just to show my boss that I'm hardworking...her theory is that, regardless of what time I come to work or go home, as long as I complete my part of the job and do it well, I'm good. I don't know about others but I doubt our productivity level will rise any further if we stay 3 hours later. Of course, when the time calls for it (such as when you're doing your budget or your next year plans and launches) then you can't really avoid staying back. In fact, you would want to stay back so not to disrupt your work momentum.

I think it's really sad that there are some people out there who still works after dinner time to make ends meet (meet their targets). Imbalance lifestyle, that's what they call it. So really, now I understand what it means when people say that different countries have different work cultures. I mean it's not like I don't know but to hear it happen from a friend..it's my first time.

And we have so many holidays and all. Gosh. We are so lucky. Anyway, I'm going off on a Christmas holiday this December for 5 days. It's gonna be a blast (alone) but I know I will make the best out of it and come back with really fond crazy memories (hopefully). But it's gonna be a bit chilly without my "heater" next to me =( A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Cold Rainy Jitters

2008-11-02T22:03:00.002+08:00

It's raining! Finally. The days are going really great. I don't really hate Sundays anymore.

I'm trying to not spend but Christmas is coming and OMG, I'm really really truly slacking in my wedding preps. This is crazy. There's so gonna be last minute commotion. I'm so excited about the dresses though.

All is great. Accommodation settled. Now to get the air ticket. It's kinda scary I feel like I will pull back half way. Maybe that's why I've been delaying the ticket purchase. Bleh.

XOXO

Winter Sonata

2008-10-30T20:01:00.003+08:00

It's a holi-holiday. It will be a good one and something I want to do before I take the next step. Time to fill my pink tour book with travel info guides.

Birthday this year...what should I do....hmmmm....

How to Know?

2008-10-28T20:54:00.004+08:00

How do you know if whatever decision you make now won't make you regret in the future?

How do you know which to choose between the two?

How can you have both at the same time?

How do you decide without sacrificing anyone's feelings?

How do you be selfless but think of what you need too?

How do you make yourself make that first step to discover the consequences of your decision?

How can you be so sure about the future?

How do you know when you're truly ready to make that leap?

How do you like being at crossroads?

Separation

2008-10-16T20:22:00.002+08:00

Since earlier this year, I stopped reading newspapers everyday. It's just sick. There used to be happy news, great achievements and whatnot but not anymore. It's pathetically miserable. What's worse is everyone's like so racist nowadays and sexist nonetheless. My sister was just telling me that girls and boys were separated during her PMR exams. It's really damn STUPID. I mean, helooooooo...this is Selangor...Subang.....Sekolah Kebangsaan!! Not bloody Kelantan Darul Naim.

I'm really beyond disappointed with what things have become in this country. I hardly recognise her anymore. Despite having lived in this country for as long as I know, I already can feel the changes. It's so unhealthy. The RPK case and all. It's like killing one to teach a thousand. Oh well.

I had my one-on-one with the Marketing Dir. today and it went well. We ended up chatting more on my wedding preps instead. Girls being girls. Haha. It's been raining like mad lately the office is like crazy winter 24/7. Got the holiday list for 2009 and it's gonna be an awesome year coz my wish to have 3-day weekends almost the whole year round will finally come through.

Gonna update my grad album. Toodles.

It's Official

2008-10-14T20:17:00.004+08:00

I am a graduate. It was a good weekend away from KL but I'm kinda bored of Singapore already. You know claustrophobic? I felt like I was almost gonna get that while I was there. Meeting back my old uni mates was so much fun I miss them a lot!!!! And then there was my final semester eye candy. I wonder how he's doing now. Hahahaha. I wonder if he's gotten a job here or went back to where he came from =P

My dad was the biggest fuss in the whole trip even my mom got annoyed. Lesson to learn, try not to involve my dad in holidays coz we can't eat anything other than chinese and we can't go anywhere new because he says there's nothing there. Poor mom. I think she was especially excited and proud when I went up the stage. Heehee. They were so lucky to get almost front row seats and so near me.

Didn't shop much. The only purchase made was this awesome Panasonic travel curler/straightener. I think it's like one of my best purchases ever. It works wonder!

Went back to work today and everyone asked me why I didn't take an extra day leave. Dei...unpaid weh, malas lah. Besides, I reached home late afternoon yesterday so it wasn't that bad. I was just a bit sleepy today that's all. Tomorrow on-site in One World. Good. Can lepak the whole day.

Tired.

Inee Minee Mynee Mo

2008-10-06T19:45:00.004+08:00

Two choices :

1. Go for the football package so we can secure tickets to the match

OR

2. Go on our own and stay at an accomodation of our choice which is far more convenient and has far more stuffs around within a walking distance but risk not being able to secure footie tickets or paying a hefty sum for it

At the end of the day, the question is...are we there to enjoy ourselves or just for the football? I would say to enjoy ourselves BUT to go that far and not watch football.....like damn rugiii........how now brown cow?

Honeymoon honeymoon....should enjoy ourselves right? And football is just secondary right?

************

I was on MC today. Hit by the viral fever again. Never gonna go back to the clinic which I thought was part of our panel. Damn bodoh sial. But he was right to warn me that I will come down with a bad flu and sore throat soon if I don't rest. I don't mind sore throat but I absolutely hate flu. He said my mucus duct is like swollen (sure sign of flu) and my throat very red. I think if I went to work today, I'd be down tomorrow and now is not a good time to fall sick since I'll be travelling this weekend.

Time to rest.

Selamat Hari Raya

2008-10-02T22:11:00.006+08:00

Raya Hari Ke-2. Esok blah pi kerja for a few hours before heading off for my ankle check up. Raya as always is good. It felt a lil different this year tho. I think it's coz I'm working this raya around and well, the 5 days break is more than superb tho technically speaking it's about 4 3/4 days for me since I'll be stopping by office for awhile.

Collected our wedding bands today and it's really nice. I especially liked Naz's one coz it's just so simple but awesome coz of the line line thingy. He feels that mine won't look good if worn back to back with my engagement ring coz everything will look too blingy. As he said, "There's just too much going on there". Haha. I love them blinging but he's kinda right. I might need to wear them one on the left and the other on my right. I have pictures of my work-in-progress wedding gown actually and I'm dying to post it up here BUT I think I should keep it till the day itself. I wonder how my kebaya will turn out to be. Now that is still pending, after Raya only start.

Time is passing by so fast, 3 more months till year end...wait, did I mention that already in my previous post? It's crazy. Before you know it, it's CNY. Really looking forward to CNY next year coz it's been a long time since we've been back to KB.

Year end holiday plans in place. Deng deng deng. Need to save some cash tho.

I'm not gonna sleep early tonight. I won't!

Beauty & The Bride

2008-09-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

Care for your nails, your hair, your skin and your shape. I couldn't be bothered about my hair. I'm gonna have it up anyway so no use for super shiny looking healthy ones. Nails...yes, I've been carefully taking care of it now. Went for mani the other day coz it's just getting way outa hand since I last went ganas on nail arts. My skin is fine. Bodyshop Vita C booster is just awesome and it's definitely worth the buy. Screw SKII. Body wise...err...lets just say I don't really need to worry much about that.

I don't go for facials outside. I hate the fact that someone is touching my face and poking it here and there. Weekly home facials plus a good set of skincare is good enough for me. I'm using this nail essence + strengthener thing recommended by my boss and it's just awesome. It's so shiny and healthy but do go for mani if you don't know how to clean your cuticle beds (like me). The only problem I have now is my big toe. It's just disastrous eversince jungle trekking the other time.

Raya next week! Syiok. October next week! Lagi syiok coz we'll be working for 16 days only. Can't believe it's 3 more months before the end of 2008 and then it's 2009 and wow...I'll be married by then.

We're kinda worried about going to London. Kena deported balik cam mana? Somehow Malaysians always kena. Sigh. I hope we're not the suey ones.

Updates!!

2008-09-24T20:06:00.003+08:00

I have so many things I wanted to blog about but had no time. Every weekdays, I'm konked out by 1030pm and on weekends, I couldn't be bothered to go online. Today, I made an initiative to actually update at least something like :

- Today I was caught in a bad jam exiting Dsara toll and I noticed bikers stopping at the side under the bridge one after the other taking out their rain jackets (it was drizzling) and then I wondered to myself about how their lives are like going about their daily routine just to bring food to the table. And then I started counting my blessings that I have a decent home, a decent fiance, a decent family, decent job, decent car and etc.

- I was swamped with stuffs that came out of nowhere and could only start on my work at 3pm. This is the peak of my almost 2 months with RB. As what he said, "You should eat your words back, at first say no work..now?" Well, at least I feel productive and for the first time ever, I wanted badly to stay later but couldn't. Work is getting better. Had a bit of hiccups here and there with the agency reps but after awhile, they know that I meant business.

- Going to Singapore mid Oct and end Oct. Am annoyed that I can't freaking take a few hours off just to go to the airport from home. I hate lugging my bag to the office and leaving from there. Really impractical.

- Wedding stuffs are going good. I just had my 2nd fitting last weekend and the gown is gorgeous. I wonder what will they think if I tell them I want to make my gown shorter since the design is really suitable for cocktails and dinners too. The decor people came back to us and looking at what they're suggesting, I can already imagine a really nice ambient on our reception day.

- Planning a surprise birthday for an old friend when she comes back for her cousin's wedding. It's been a long while. She happen to be getting married too.

Oh...and I can't wait till we move in to our own place. I think it would be less tiring to travel back and forth even tho it's just about a 3 minutes drive.

I wanna go play my game. Fatty actually managed to get the new PS3 80GB at the launching price after lining up for hours. At least now he won't be hogging my DS. Tsk...tsk..tsk..

No Boss Not Good

2008-09-11T20:16:00.002+08:00

Seriously...work overload. Lunch time came too fast and office hours ended too quick. I could've worked a lil later but I was dead hungry. I think I am so unfit lately. My waistline is growing and it's awful!

Daily routine : Wake up - Work - Lunch - Work - Dinner - Bathe - Read - Sleep

Job satisfaction level is still high.

Merdeka

2008-09-10T21:04:00.001+08:00

Boss sudah blah. Merdeka for one week =P I am my own boss for my brands now. Teruk. Make mistake only die.

Disturbia

2008-09-08T20:03:00.002+08:00

I love the song. I love the video. It's disturbingly hot.

I got over my bitch phobia.

My boss is going away for a week and I'm like "shit". Project launch still on...she's so trusting me with my decisions. Die. I've never really admired people I work with when they know like everything (my past job) but this time, I'm like in awe. Everyone's so brilliant. Of course, I've only been on the job for 3 weeks and I think I've learnt things that people learn in 3 months or so. It's like you've really got to grasp hold of everything FAST and I feel like the past few days, I've been so lembab I don't know why. I need to pump my brain cells abit.

I went for my first gown fitting and my gown was perfectly the way I imagined it to be. Next fitting is in another two weeks before they start sewing the crystals and blings on.

I've been reading a lot lately, playing my DS and just lazing around. It feels good really to be able to shutdown after work. Really really good.

Gedik-ness

2008-09-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna seem racist but I damn don't like gedik clans who think they damn happening and when they think they damn happening, they turn out to be a real pain in the arse. Super unprofessional when it comes to work and they think that their status makes them super high and mighty. I'm really really annoyed and close to becoming super pissed. Some people can really drive you up the wall.

Since my parents left me a pathetic 1/8 of a mooncake, I went to buy a whole box of 4 for myself and guess what? When I came back, there was already another box waiting at home. Tsk.

1st fitting tomorrow, I'm excited but at the same time, I'm hoping to put on a lil weight on top...I feel too skinny and wedding gowns dun look nice on skinny girls.

Nails

2008-09-04T21:50:00.002+08:00

I started fasting today. It's not easy to fast while you're working. It's CRAZY in fact. I was like dying to put my hands into my food stash. Ugh. Staying home while fasting last year was so much easier. It's a challenge but I find myself more patient of course, kalau tak batal puasa. Haha.

Work is good. I find myself carrying more responsibilities now and it kinda make me feel like I've met my boss's expectations considering the things she allow me to handle on my own now and it's only been 3 weeks+. Having basic knowledge from my previous job has definitely made her job easier and at least I can help her without putting on more burden for her.

I need a nails rescue team. My nails are in a very horrible condition especially my big toe. Really, I think I'm gonna get my boss's recommended nail saving thingy. Must have pretty nails for the wedding mah.

The weather has been crazy. Raining almost everyday. Jam is mad as well. Can't stand it.

Nothing

2008-09-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

Today I rushed for submission to one of the drugs and health related punya ministry. Kesian regulatory, so kecoh. It was so hot I felt like I was burning inside. The jam was horrible when exiting to Damansara. I got caught in a 1/2 an hour jam in the heat and it was bad coz I felt feverish.

Menjalara had a really good "ma lat" pan mee. It wasn't spicy enough for me though. Cili soup pan mee. Yummy. Applied for a day leave in October for my convocation. Unpaid leave unfortunately as it's not 3 months yet since I started work.

Gotta be in the office early tomorrow. Goodnight. I haven't started fasting yet. Damn tipu. Hahaha.

Pink, Bright and Everything Nice

2008-09-01T00:04:00.006+08:00

Hello. I am back. I just finished checking my cc expenses to pay, uploading pics from the trip and the previous family day pics of my dad's, updating my monthly expenses and unpacking. Kinda tired now.

The trip was good. I felt like a damn jakun in Malacca. Imagine, 18 years since I last went there so it was really fun and well, insightful mainly because we were practically reading through historical entries at the hotspots. Thanks to Jules pre-prepared guide, we managed to get to all the good places for food and stuffs. It wasn't that difficult to navigate but I'm pleased that the town is really clean and neat. Of course it has to be after being declared as entah ape by UNESCO. The traffic to & fro wasn't all too bad either. I think tomorrow would be worse. Our last stop was actually the Crocodile Farm and it was kinda eerie to be near these creature. Oh, and we saw fireworks from our room too. It had a good view. But Merdeka this year seems a bit toned down. Ho-hum.

Pics are all on FB. I got myself this new baby too (here not there) that comes with all my favourite nintendo games. Since I didn't know what other games to choose, I decided to add on some BOY games for the bf. Tsk. Terrible. I will take picture of him playing a PINK nintendo. Good investment especially when travelling now that I'd be doing just that every once in awhile. Also, very good when your bf hogs the PS while you sit there doing nothing with no magazines OR hogs the com OR hogs the Astro OR watching matches that you're not really interested in.

I feel very flabby and unhealthy. I should hit the gym tomorrow. Fasting already. So fast. Before you know it, it's gonna be Raya already and then Christmas and CNY. Wow. And then the wedding day!

Merdeka Holiday

2008-08-29T22:15:00.003+08:00

Off I go. 3 days off. If only every weekend was a 3-day weekend. People are taking off on Tuesday. I don't understand why.

The wedding preps are slacking off. I'm like totally into my work somehow. 1st dress fitting next Saturday. I have yet to receive my drawings for the decor.

Salah Kerot

2008-08-26T22:35:00.002+08:00

Bodoh blur. Kira salah. I am such a clever girl today because I know how to pro rate my salary and I know how taxes work and the relevant calculations. Young and inexperienced what! So at the end of the day, with my salary bracket, the tax isn't gonna be that bad once I'm confirmed. Heh.

Online Media and You session at Modestos was good. A true eye opener and met a great lot of people. Some of them went home so it was just me, my manager, our agency and the organizer lounging around. We ended up talking about men, women and marriage. It was a very pleasant evening. But I was a bit annoyed at one guy (even though I think he meant well) tonight. He wanted to make a toast but I was without a drink coz the waitress took it away already. So off he went to the bar and I thought he would just order what I had earlier, which was a lemon tea but instead, he came back with a mug of beer. And honestly, I hate beer...I would rather down 10 glasses of whiskey than a mug of beer. So there I was sitting there, being overly polite. Taking a sip every now and then (just two sips only) hoping that he will realise that he made a big mistake of NOT ASKING first. Two sips but I feel like my tummy is like super bloated and damn uncomfortable already. Later, one of the directors ordered a round of whiskey and well, I obviously finished it but I think the mix wasn't balanced. Terrible.

I have yet to upload the Fun Fest 2008 pics. Dad was yapping about how I'm back late the past few days (by late he meant later than him) and I was like errr...when I'm not working, you complain, when I am working and coming back late, you talk also. Come back late coz got work and events lah. Haiyer. BF also same...but not as bad as my dad but still....I remember the days when I actually had to wait for him so now it's only fair that he taste a bit of what I had to last time. Of course, he would say that during his time, he had it worse because I hated waiting but the difference was that he always ditched me last time whereas now I try to work around my appointments with him. Hmph. Rasakanlah.

Am enjoying my nights after work while he has his activities lately. My routine would normally be a good bath and then off to bed with a book and bedtime when my eyes are tired. Like now. Nite.

Beh Tahan

2008-08-25T22:12:00.002+08:00

Beh tahan....money disappear just like that. Stupid crap. Damn beh tahan. If I only use highways, can I pay lesser tax?

Anyway, I'm so glad we're reverting back to the UK copy for our POSM things.

Hot Thai Guy (2)

2008-08-24T23:02:00.004+08:00

Take that suckers. Someone attempted to make use of my wi-fi the past few days despite having it secured already. I couldn't connect to it and discovered that my account and password have been changed. Had to put up with direct connection from the modem coz I didn't have the time to reset it and reconfigure the whole thing again. Lesson learnt : Never leave your router on 24/7.

[L-R : Kevin (the multilingual ThaiFrench), Om & the RB peeps]

I got hold of the Thai talent pics. Damn sucky. Can't believe I missed the pic opp just by leaving 5 minutes early. Ugh. Nevermind. Am circulating the eye candies (the girl is cute as well) to my gal pals tomorrow. Hahaha. Terrible I know but well, he is just erm shyboykindacharming.

I want a DS Lite in PINK. Cheap cheap what. Buy for my birthday =P But I think I'm just gonna get it for myself as a treat. Heh. I splurged on a pair of nice black heels yesterday. It's a fact that I am drawn to expensive stuffs unintentionally. LOL. It's not like I check out the price and choose it or something. Went for the Lunch Symposium today and well, it was a bit the "errr" but the last talk was kinda informative and helpful so well, didn't lose much except the fact that I forgot to get the receipt for my parking to claim. Rain was so heavy today the whole KL was jammed up. Luckily it didn't flood outside Shangs or else no need to go home.

Abbott family day was quite fun and tiring last weekend. We came back and k.o-ed for 4 hours straight before sleeping again at midnight. No stamina. Thighs all lenguh thanks to jungle trekking. A few of them brought back pacat with them and fed them well. Hahaha. Luckily the only thing that I kena was a mosquito bite. Lunch was good. The mutton curry was fu-wah cun.

Work starts again tomorrow. How fast time pass. Had dinner with the ex-colleagues yesterday and it's nice to see how most of them are looking better after leaving our ex-company. Really. They all looked so happy and glowy and fitter. Tsk.

Training tomorrow. School starts tomorrow so here comes the jam AGAIN. Argh.

Hot Thai Guy

2008-08-21T21:52:00.003+08:00

I don't think I was able to stop for a breather except weekends and it's really not enough. I'm really loving the speed and everything. No matter how brain drained I am, I know I don't have to think of work when I'm back. Occasionally it's fine because it's something that is using lotsa creative brain cells so I'm actually coping with it well. The learning has been great but most importantly, the teacher is awesome.

I went for my first TVC shoot today and OMG, the talent was FUWAHOT. Hahahaha. Ok, he's not HOT per se but rather erm, the shy guy cute charming kinda guy. Too bad I left about 5 minutes earlier than dingdong Jules or else I would've gotten a picture already. ARGH. Nevermind. I go Chiang Mai/Bangkok next time WITHOUT Naz =P Monash's new campus is really nice. It made my wanna study again. I felt so grown up walking in campus lugging my work bag and wearing my shirt dress with my pumps and hair all pinned up.

Had my first NPD today and you know what, now I know how it feels like when you get your "baby" approved by the GM. Too bad, there isn't enough lead time or else the new idea would've probably give a better impact. I still damn tak puas hati. Blame it on the previous brand champ.

My ankle seriously cannot pakai already. The fluids are still there. I'm just looking for the right time to go for another consultation and drain them out. Terrible. Stupid bitch woman.

Tomorrow's Friday. Saturday need to wake up early for my dad's family day in Shah Alam punya Taman Pertanian and then Sunday need to wake up early for some symposium. But I'm so looking forward to Merdeka weekend! Malacca...here I come.

Oversplurged

2008-08-17T22:16:00.004+08:00

Terrible. I really hate it when I overspend. I mean, I feel so guilty buying the things I buy after buying it. Hahaha. Damnit. Next month I'm gonna suffer. Stupid sales stupid malls stupid card. I'm on the verge of hitting over my credit limit. Tsk. Bad girl.

It's gonna be my 3rd week soon with the current co. and well, things have been going too fast. The past week and the coming one will be filled with planning and project launches and it's really crucial but I'm enjoying the speed of everything STILL. I like my manager because she's a planner so she doesn't like dump things on you last minute and demand for it immediately, unlike my previous. Of course, sometimes it's inevitable but at least it won't happen like 24/7. We get along fine and it's really great so far. But the phobia caused by my previous employment is still apparent. Should sue them for the duress caused.

I can't seem to sit still lately. I can't sit at home doing nothing. So restless. And for that, I almost bought a new Adidas sporties. Thank goodness they didn't have my size. But I ended up buying more clothes at Forever 21. I'm running through my shoes cupboard to check out the shoes that I have coz it seems like I don't have many, which is weird coz I always have shoes. Hmmm....

Wedding preps has been ok. Just a note though. Do not go to Choffles. Service sucks. People suck. Their service and the person who spoke to me were just horrible. AND, Tiffany & Co. KLCC SAs are bitches I tell you. Thanks to them, I ended up purchasing my necklace elsewhere. I mean, I go in enquiring about a necklace with my initial R and she goes, "Do you want to purchase it?" when I asked "Do you have xx necklace?". Like damn wtf ok. I mean, an easy "yes" or "no" would be fine but duh. Pavillion's SA is wayyyy better. I walked out of the store saying out loud how horrible their service was so the other customers could hear it. Damn sial. I actually answered her, "Err...YES I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE THE NECKLACE...do you have it?" I said it in a damn sarcastic and angry manner lor. Terrible.

Another work week tomorrow. Ugh. Monday blues. I really want to go on a holiday =(

Space

2008-08-15T20:21:00.003+08:00

I'm glad that I can finally have a whole load of alone time without people whining at the side telling me that they don't feel loved.

Syiok

2008-08-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

Work is busy but I don't go crazy after working hours. Life after my previous job?

- I go home a bit later than last time but I'm actually willing to
- Time passes by very fast. I finally know the meaning of "I need more time to finish my work"
- I get to SHUT DOWN after I leave the building
- I don't get charts flying in my head, my dreams and my sleep
- My learning curve is higher but expected performance is higher too
- Job is not monotonous
- I get to communicate with mortals and not just the freaking software
- There is actually a system or a flow at work
- I enjoy what I'm doing now
- I know I will be able to prevent sore throats before it hits me
- I have a permanent retail therapy spot for when I'm stressed
- I have time to actually think of other things besides WORK
- I get to sleep early and wake up earlier than previously but feel so fresh every morning
- Food is not as good though

- I have BATCH MATES

That's all. I'm a bit sleepy. And I still want another holiday.

Update

2008-08-06T20:37:00.002+08:00

I have some time now.

Training is good so far. It's so much more comprehensive and organized compared to the previous co. There is what I call a SYSTEM. 6 of us actually made it to the final cut whereby only 4 during my session (which I thought was the only one) made it - myself and my ex-colleague will be starting with the marketing department while the other 2 from another session starts with the sales team. Staring at the big screen for 3 days hasn't been great on the eyes and it's somehow more tiring than doing real work. Food around the area is horrible and a bit on the steep side for everyday lunch. I kinda miss MBPJ. Travelling there is alright though. It looks a bit long but KM wise, it's the same as going down to PJ. The only thing I'm looking forward to is not driving too often when his office moves down the road near mine. One of the girl my batch, OMG how tua are we because we've actually spoken and met each other and was in the same club in A Levels but all we spoke about was, "Oh, yeah I was this batch that batch..." until she said she found my email in her mailing list. Hahah. Everywhere I go, somehow I end up with people who are friends with my friends. Small world so cannot simply kutuk =P

Apart from work, I'm really glad that this time around, I can claim my "stress hugs" immediately after work and it's really great to have him back nearby. But of course, things have changed. and now it's like the combination of before he went away and when he was away. It feels good actually and now I kinda feel like just moving in fast lah. It feels a bit tiring to move a few blocks back and forth after work. Heh. But on his side, kinda kesian. The stories he heard proved to be quite true.

The weather has been terrible on my nose. It's been hot outside and really cold inside. Ugh. Can't take the heat. Puteri lilin to the max. Tomorrow going to JB summore. Luckily they hired someone to drive us down south. I can't wait for the weekend. I need some rest for an early journey tomorrow.

I miss banana leaf rice with the ah fatts!

Are Bee

2008-08-05T20:14:00.003+08:00

Nose irritation. Damn annoying. Bloody walk under the sun two days in a row is killing my nose. Sitting in the meeting room staring at slides 2 whole days in a row killed my eyes. I'm waiting for the weekend.

Bye.

OMG I Want a Holiday!

2008-08-03T22:33:00.002+08:00

Yeah giler. I want a holiday even after I just got back from one and have been bumming for 3 months. If only I could start work on Tuesday. I need another rest day. Am so tired this weekend. I bought lotsa nice stuff this weekend OMG really damn nice and it was a pretty awesome buy. I was so proud of myself because I stuck within budget and saved quite a bit thanks to the sales season. Too tired to elaborate. Next post maybe.

I freaking lost my favourite Bobbi Brown lipstick that I use only for work. ARGH. I know it's somewhere in between my clothes or it got lost somewhere in some boxes during the renovation. Damn bengang. I'm not used to using other lipsticks for work cept that. So fussy I know but I normally have like a "work perfume" and "work lipstick" and etc. and I can't remember the color code in case it's really lost forever!

Went to celebrate my youngest sister's birthday just now. Will elaborate more in the next post as well. I swear, I'm never gonna have another crazy Sunday. We used to have "stay-in Sundays" to regenerate for work but now everything has gone haywire coz he just got back and had a lot of things to do during the weekend.

Mimi's Bye Bye Bye is stuck in my head. I love the song and currently has the song on loop mode =P

Goodnite.

Mummy & Daddy's Lesson

2008-08-02T11:29:00.004+08:00

How difficult is it to stick to your words?
How difficult is it to grow up?
How difficult is it to be the more responsible one?
How difficult can all these be?

It is not if you remember the keywords : effort - initiative.

I will always keep these two words in mind because those are the things my dad taught me last time because I was taking too much and giving too little. In fact, he still does it every now and then when I forget to buy bread back whenever there's nothing at home. He's always going, "Girl, it doesn't matter if people don't eat...it's the effort that counts". So I'll always remember that regardless of whether the other person appreciates your effort or not, as long as you've done your part and is proud of it, anything beyond that does not matter.

I will not let the same thing that happened in my past employment happen to me again with the current one. I will make sure I back my ass and let my effort be known instead of trying to be the too humble one and let it bite my ass in the end.

Weipz was telling me that one of her friends dumped her bf of 5 years because he bought a gold ring to propose (and she hates gold). Honestly, I think that's the gutsiest move ever because if you don't bloody hell know your gf, what makes you think you can be a good husband in the future? Basic things that a future husband needs to have *hints* :

- the ability to take responsibility and not be a pushover
- the ability to care and to understand
- the ability to share the chores and not treat your wife like a damn maid
- the ability to pick up hints and react/adapt quickly (alertness)
- the ability to love unconditionally
- the ability to think before you react/speak
- the ability to put yourself in her shoes. It's a two way street in a relationship
- the ability to be a man and even better, the bigger man. Your wife is not there to mother you

And future wives :

Well, as long as you give them space for their boys night out and a lil loving and well, lotsa space. It's not like they're easy to satisfy but rather we don't need to be told what to do to make them happy. We're women, we're not bendul macam kayu. Harhar. But oh, you can't give too much space also coz they may just interpret it as you not loving them as much anymore. Guys are like girls too sometimes so we too have to be alert as well.

We're off to look at wedding bands later. The best is still that Love & Co. place in The Gardens. I saw a new design with more blings. Cis.

Heart to Heart

2008-08-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

I don't even know how to start but life after the proposal has been a true roller coaster ride of emotion. Before Phuket, I couldn't remember the last time I was genuinely happy except the day he proposed to me and the whole week before we told our parents because he still wanted to enjoy the moment and have it belong to us still before other people start pouring in their best wishes.

Wedding preparations/planning isn't the most difficult pre-marriage part but its the challenge of having to accommodate the difficult people around us especially when they're not exactly close to you nor are they great communicators. I've cried many times, shouted many times, gave up many times, ran to my mom many times, argued with him many times, and done so many other things many times but at the end of the day, I just couldn't walk away because I knew that I would just have to get over this ridiculous stage before I can at least have some room to breathe on my own.

At times, I feel like I'm not ready. Many times, I felt like my world is slowly turning upside down. I hated the fact that there are so many changes suddenly and so many people involved in my life. But when I stop and thought about the things that we went through together, I got back my strength and told myself that we've been tested so many times and this is just another test and I'm not about to score an F for this.

This is just the beginning of something new. I was never great at adapting to changes quickly. He knows me best...and he struck me at the core of my heart when he said, "I know you're very attached to your family and home and that's the most difficult part of marrying me..." and it made me cry that night. I'm the eldest but I'm also a super mummy's girl so it's really very difficult for me. The home I grew up in had so many great memories from the day we moved in around November 1990. I can still remember how we had not much money left and mom sat at her old Singer sewing machine sewing our very first set of curtains while I happily cycled in the empty hall. We only slept on tilams laid on the floor. Dad knew I liked books and bought me a whole set of advance version of Peter & Jane for my 7th birthday. There was also the time in 1993 when mom cried in pain in her room a few weeks after giving birth to the youngest and almost died from an internal rupture. I curse the doctor till this day. The funniest was when my second sister and I would always lie outside my parents room to enjoy the cool air that escapes from the bottom of the door. We didn't have aircons in our rooms and would sometimes sleep first in their room and dad would carry us one by one back to bed later. I also remember the smell of cookies and how annoyingly stuffy the kitchen was because of the heat. Mom was always making cookies to sell for two years to help dad financially. It was the darkest days of our life in that house thanks to some idiot who envied my dad at work. Thank God he got screwed nicely 5 years later at court. That's why up till this day, I hate eating cookies.

But if not because of the bastard who caused us such duress, I would've probably be in US till this day and wouldn't have met this wonderful man I'm soon to be married to. I know there's a long way ahead of us and my mom is especially worried compared to my dad even though she doesn't say it out loud because I'm also converting at the same time. As a daughter, I don't know how else to lessen her worries except a promise that everything will still be the same as it is now. I don't expect friends to understand my action but it cracks me up when there are some people who comes up with ideas such as marrying outside the country so you don't have to convert. Sure it seems easy but they forget that I will be residing in this country still and how about when I want to have kids in the future? There will be too much complication in the future and I hate it when things get complicated. If you don't think too much, things would be more simple. Sometimes, people think too much until it becomes a problem.

I am not the best person to be with honestly. I've been so used to people giving in to me that I only started learning to give through him. He has his many flaws but his greatest strength is definitely his patience with me. This is something you will not get often in men these days I feel. My mom often joked about how her daughters are 'well brought up' because we have boyfriends who sayang us so much and are so patient with us. Best part is, they will walk on fire for us without thinking twice. LOL. And dad would just shake his head probably thinking about how they would all end up like him. Heehee.

I'm suddenly thinking about the montage I plan to do for my dad on his 50th birthday and seriously, I don't think I can speak on his birthday coz I'll prolly choke in tears at every sentence. Their 30th wedding anniversary lagilah I cannot do. Confirm cry. Hahaha.

Oh well, I'm praying for the best everyday especially for my family. I just hope that things stay smooth sailing as it is now. The things that are happening with the people around my family is worrying. My cousin met an accident while I was in Phuket. His gf passed away and tomorrow, he's going for a facial reconstructive surgery and apparently, it's gonna be a very very long surgery. Everyone's worried for him and how the whole accident will affect him psychologically. We probably won't have the same old jovial boy after this.

He's coming back tomorrow. FOR GOOD. I wonder if I'd get used to him being around 24/7 now =)

Bed & Breakfast

2008-08-01T14:56:00.003+08:00

I remember looking at this B+B quite a few months ago and looking at it again today, I still think it's really decent and it makes me want to stay there for our planned trip.

Work starts on Monday and I'm suddenly nervous. How fast time passed. Sigh. I want a big big birthday party this year and then a bigger one when I turn 25 next year. Heehee.

The youngest's birthday is next Wednesday. I have no idea what to get for her.

The Ego Speaks

2008-08-01T00:30:00.006+08:00

It takes two hands to clap.

There is such thing as causal and effect.

If you don't want to listen to people's reasoning or is over defensive when people question you, then don't expect them to treat you nice either.

If you think people treat you like you're dumb, make an effort to fill yourself with more knowledge instead of doing nothing but blame the other person for treating you like you're dumb. Prove to them that you're not by making an effort to learn.

Stop waiting for things to come to you, instead, take the initiative to go to them.

Keywords of the day: Effort - Initiative

For me, the glass is always half full but for some, it's half empty. It doesn't matter. When I look out, I see a world full of opportunities and possibilities. I can fall and climb back up again and do better. But for some, they give up easily without even trying. They say, "no" without first saying "i will try". They become defensive when someone ask them a question that they may not know the answer. These people need half full people to motivate them BUT when the ego speaks, the half empty people more often than not think that they're being treated like they're dumb. If you don't know something, you have to learn and just because someone is teaching you, it doesn't mean that they're screaming "dumb" in their heads. These are the kind of people that takes criticisms hard and negatively initially but later realise that they're suppose to take it constructively instead.

It's not easy to be around these people because at some point, they have a horrible effect on you and they piss you off badly. My youngest sister is one of them. Somehow, you have to believe that there exist similarities between people born under the same star/horoscope.

Strip Trip

2008-07-31T14:41:00.002+08:00

Went for tea + cake with Weipz today before heading off to Strip for our appointment. It's been awhile since I visited them and ugh, my pain threshold kinda dropped a lil but I feel so clean and good after that. We thought today was Friday and mistakenly dropped by the DNP warehouse sales. Nowonder there wasn't a single crowd. Duh.

I feel so sleepy. Almost fell asleep a few during the wax.

Enough is Enough

2008-07-30T23:30:00.005+08:00

I want to disappear to a place where no one knows me. I want to be somewhere new and meet new people and leave the past behind. Sometimes I can be a lil mean in mind and wished that I was all alone without a family but I know, that is the worse thing a person can ever wish for or think of.

I want to stop thinking for others and keep trying to think of how they're thinking but I can't help it because somehow I feel like I can read their minds. I'm sick of being the one taking care, the one taking the responsibility, the one people rely on, the one people trust...I don't want to take the lead...I want to be led. I want to be dominated....I want to be dependent. I want to be told what to do..I want to be taken care of...I want to be submissive. This is getting really bad and I realised that it has reflected on my attitude at work. I've never thought about it this way but now I realised that I have an opposite personality at work than off work.

I'm so tired. I really just want to let go of everything and not care about anything. I just want to be alone and now, I know just what I am gonna do. No more self pity...I'm gonna plan for something on my own and for once think of what I want to do for myself without needing the nod from others. But for that, I need a friend...because I'm a girl. I must do this to find myself once again.

No7 by Boots

2008-07-30T00:24:00.005+08:00

Another precious purchase. The paling exact color of my skintone. Their facial wipes are good too but I'm not traveling on a long distance flight anytime soon so no point buying it.

Of Letters & Postcards

2008-07-30T00:04:00.004+08:00

Send me postcards or letters! I have 5 from Australia (thanks to Marianne..I feel bad for not sending any), 1 from Japan, 2 from the States, 1 from Ukraine and 1 from New Zealand. I think I should start sending myself postcards from my holiday spots instead of buying empty postcards off the rack. At least got the chop and stamps on it.

Redang, Penang, and Tioman is missing from my holiday postcard collection. Ugh.

I wonder where in East Asia will the induction program be. I hope it's not Malaysia this year or else damn tak best. Bleh.

The Holiday

2008-07-29T16:16:00.004+08:00

Got back yesterday evening. If only the holiday didn't have to end. It was all good especially in the company of people that clicked so well with each other. Before the holiday, there were so much in our heads but during the holiday, it was great to have them all "forgotten" for a few days.

Club Andaman Beach Resort was decent and quite strategically located. Not too far from the bazaar and not smacked in the middle either. The only thing that irked me was the service given by a few of the waiters during buffet breakfast. They were quite rude to my standard and totally masam muka for 2 out of 3 mornings. Other than that, everything was ok. The place was fully booked so 4 of us got a room upgrade. The difference was just in the bathroom. Haha.

It was and still is the monsoon season. Waves were strong and big. Luckily it didn't rain cept maybe during our arrival night but that was while we were asleep. Island hopping was exciting mainly because of the strong waves on the way to Phi Phi. We all decided to sit on the outside of the speedboat for the thrill of it and we got more than that. 4 meters high waves on average for one hour+. Really menggilakan. It was like a roller coaster ride. This ang moh guy was like "You guys are crazy...I don't know how you guys did it". LOL. But after docking the boat, we all kinda still felt like we were floating on air.

During our last full day there, we thought of renting a car to drive around the island but managed to get a good deal and got a local to drive us all around. He was damn good and fun! We even paid for him to play paintball with us. Great guy who took us around at only 2500baht in total from morning till night including gas (which was so expensive) and we got around doing so many things and finally eating good local food. Patong is so commercialised you can't even find a decent Thai food there. Kharon beach was nice. Spent quite awhile there fighting the waves. Bikini alignment went off so many times...heehee. Ass kena sand scratch until I was red bummed but my skin turned out super smooth after shower.

I had cravings for durian + pulut and finally managed to eat it at one of the night markets in town. Gawd knows what the old man and lady was talking except a few words I learnt from my grandma and mom but they looked very pleased. The best part was everyone just dipped their fingers in with mine and scoop up the pulut and durian to eat. Heehee. Didn't buy many things during Phuket trip because there was nothing appealing. I only bought a purple dress at the night market and a Playboy lingerie coz I can't find it here. Also bought some cosmetic from this brand not available in the country from Boots pharma. Wanted to stock up but realised that I can do that during the London trip.

None of us wanted to go back. Some had to drive back to their bases outside KL the same day so it was kinda tiring. AirAsia on the way back was damn stupid. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys on board. Stewardess kutuk-ing people in BM while serving. Super unprofessional and annoying. They were quite bimbotic also. I don't want to start work next week. I want to be paid to go for holidays!

I can't quite tell if I like Bali or Phuket more. They both have their good and bad. Heh.

Pics are all on Facebook.

La Bodega Night Out

2008-07-24T13:49:00.003+08:00

It was nice meeting them again after a few years of not seeing them. Known them for 8 long years already and none of them changed much. I discovered a shop nearby. So going back there again. They have really nice shoes and accessories *grins*

And then I realised, we're all working in very different industries but doing things that we like.

Off to Phuket tomorrow.

Music Makes The People Get Together

2008-07-22T14:19:00.002+08:00

I went to discuss the invoice with Dennis @ Mosaic Music Entertainment and got everything settled. Nice guy with an album in the making. I hope all goes well for him.

I still hate the unpredictable weather lately. Bleh.

Nivea Sucks Big Time

2008-07-21T22:38:00.004+08:00

Don't buy Nivea Eye Make Up remover. It's crappy. I thought I could like tahan until the whole bottle finish but no, I will dump the damn thing away. I actually have a hard time removing my eye makeup on normal make up days but it's still bearable lah. It comes out but takes a lot more removing time. Today on the other hand really tested it to the max. I went for my trial so I can book my make-up chiq a.s.a.p coz she's always fully booked and when I came home to remove my mascara, OMG, the bloody stupid remover didn't work much. Definitely isn't the mascara's fault coz I've used it before. Damn celaka. I rubbed until my eyelids also stinging pain already now. I was so afraid that my lashes would fall off you know. Siao.

Pharmacy brand - Get L'oreal. Really good. I don't know what made me change to Nivea. Stupid crappy product. Other than that, Lancome is good as well.

Rented a kwa for tea ceremony as well. Its so nicely red. Whoosh.

Sheesh. Nivea products really fail except Nivea men deodorant. Absolutely am head over heels in love with the scent.

Girls

2008-07-18T15:24:00.003+08:00

OMG..really...have to bitch again. Cannot tahan girls who are not close to me overstepping borders *pulls hair* I mean girlfriends I have from high school also don't do that lah and even if they do, opinions are taken as advice because we've known each other for years. Tsk. I think I'm actually very mean coz I don't like these 2 girls (not my "friends" thankfully) but we have to invite them to the wedding because they run in the same circle of friends and we know them and well..we just have to have them around lah or else it'd be damn obvious I don't like them. One is to me, very anti social...quite cynical...moody...hardly smiles...really very party pooper kind and the other is a very kononnya sociable kind but is awkward at doing it and is very pretentious. I remember the first time I met her and while she was saying, "Nice meeting you"..she was like staring at me damn bitchily from up to down lor. What to do, I'm dating the guy she used to/or maybe still do like mah. Damn catty I tell you.

I just like my high school friends best lah even though I hardly am good at keeping in touch with them but I just feel that whatever faults we have with each other, at least we don't keep it at heart. At least that's what I do.

The guest hall furniture is here already and I like it because it looks so traditional. I want to have a birthday party at home this year. It's been awhile since I ever had a party for myself since I tend to organize them for people only. Bleh.

It's Friday today. Another two more weeks before he's officially back to the KL. No more suka-suka crossover to Singapore to jalan-jalan. Was getting bored of that place after awhile anyway so nothing to miss I guess =P

And I can't wait to start work. It's been awhile. Also, we realised that I've been securing jobs from companies that didn't hire him. Hmmm.......

Annoying Know-it-all

2008-07-17T12:27:00.003+08:00

You know, I am seriously annoyed with people who think they know what is right and when should things be done like as if they've been married before or they've handled plenty of weddings. This is one territory you don't step into unless we ask for your opinion on wedding planning. It's damn rude to impose your supposedly ideas on people ok. There are a few girls who asked me and the bf before why are we planning our wedding early...hmmm...lets see....7 months before akad nikah and 8 months before reception. I think that's not too early nor is it too late. They fail to understand that yours truly hates to be rushed and I am running my own show and hunting for my own stuffs from akad nikah to the tea ceremony to the reception and all the official wedding stuffs. They also fail to understand that I do not want to do anything during the fasting month or move about too much doing wedding stuffs. I just want it to be as normal and as relaxing as possible because it's the fasting month and wedding preparations can really test your patience a whole load. They also fail to understand that I will be working and I'll be doing something I'm really passionate about so I want to fully concentrate on it once I start work, the bf on the other hand will be transferred back and he needs to prove himself with his new team of people. But most importantly, starting early on major stuffs will allow us a gauge how much extra $$$ we may need to save for the things we may have overlooked during the budget planning and with enough time to save, we can have something better for the wedding because it's once in a life. Also, good vendors are secured early, I don't want the second best (within the budget) if I can secure the best. I AM that KIASU, can?

So you bitches out there. Just shut the F up and stop judging the way we do things because yes, I am affected by your judgments and I am sensitive about it. And you know what? My vendors has been doing nothing but singing praises about how efficient I am and how it saves them a lot of trouble that I'm planning early because not only will I help them find the most appropriate stuffs for my wedding but also be able to help stick within my budget because they have enough time to shop for it. Most importantly, vendors hate to be rushed and I hate rushed outcomes. Plus, I have to convert you know? And there's the official thingamajig I have to run through and kursus crap to go. You wanna overlap your stuffs? Go ahead and be my guest but not me. Sure, some people might think that it's easy lah this conversion and getting the Imam stuffs blablabla but you idiots don't know that there's not much help around so me and the bf, we're making the effort to do it on our own and to find out about things on our own.

So next time, when we say to you "Hey, we're getting married...reception/akad nikah is on blablabla...we'd love for you to come even though it may be a lil early for you to decide but we're just letting you know", you don't go, "Haiyah, no need to plan so early wan...what if people forget? Wedding things..do later also can" because we're just inviting you informally while announcing our engagement. It's not like we're sending out invitation cards already right? It's not like we're doing an official headcount + RSVP right? Again, people ask you one question...you don't throw back an opinion. And there are people abroad who might wanna come so 7 months is enough time for them to save if they want to travel back for the wedding...IF THEY WANT TO right?

There is this one girl I'm irritated with though. Just one. I don't know why but I find that she's changed so much and has become a lil too cynical for my liking. Like Bel said I guess, "We haven't been really good friends to people". Bel and I had our differences and falling out but I think she understands me most despite the distance and the fact that we are so bad at keeping in touch with each other....email konon. LOL.

I'd be more than glad to tell people, "Oh? Nolah, coz I got rid of the major stuffs early" if they ever ask me why am I so relaxed when nearing the wedding dates *smirks* I'm in such a spiteful mood now.

Weather forecast says that there'll be storm in Phuket during the dates we're there. I think this is my balasan for laughing at someone when it was raining a few days while he was in Bali last year? =P

Menjelajah di Kotaraya

2008-07-16T23:08:00.003+08:00

I went to meet my gown tailor at That Special Occasion and oh, I so totally love what I picked and how he managed to draw it out for me the exact same way I wanted it to be. Oklah, I cheated coz I had a picture to accompany my preference. Thank goodness for my tall gene, I am able to pull off that cut and everything. Heehee. He was like, "Are you worried about showing your hips?" and I was like...huh? Hips? and then there was the "v-neck cut down straight to your under-bust level you know" and I was like...ah...I'm not superbly well-endowed so no spillage to worry about. LOL. I guess I'm lucky in a way that I don't have to worry much about my body size YET. Ok...sudah cukup kembang already. I hope it'll turn out good. It's so simple..no embroidery but it's all in the cloth detailing...oOOoooo...

It was still early after we left TSO so mom decided to go down to Jln TAR again to buy cloth for herself and my sisters' dresses. And since we were already in KL, she said why not just drive a lil bit more down to Petaling Street to get the tea ceremony stuffs from Loh Tim Kee behind Kotaraya. I was so damn jinjang giler. But one thing I noticed is that, chinese version of dowry giving + all the hantaran thing is exactly the same as the Malays. Of course the barang given has different meaninglah but the concept is exactly the same.

So yeah, I can start work in peace coz all that I'm required to do after this is just to follow up on whatever I've done the past month and weeks. Start early, relax more, maybe can splurge a bit after saving more =P

Petaling Street is plain scary nowadays. There used to be more chinese and locals jaga-ing the stalls but now, most of them are foreigners. I just don't feel safe there anymore. In fact, Mongkok feels safer and at least I still dare to walk into the flats to buy the fakies.

Planners

2008-07-15T15:39:00.004+08:00

I'm contemplating on whether to hire a wedding planner specifically for the reception day. My decorator recommended one but I have yet to decide. Mom said I should get it and she would "sponsor" me what I need because she doesn't want me to be stressed out that morning. I can't be there to oversee everything that day coz there's the tea ceremony going on so.....I might just get her.

The akad nikah lady we went to, I really like her and I think she understands the essence of a mix marriage (being in one herself) and how important it is to maintain the roots of our culture and not just get rid of the other just because he/she have converted. A whole 1 1/2 hour with her allowed him to finally understand the importance of certain things to me that I've been trying so hard to explain. How I always advise him that he should try to be more accommodating towards my family and not ignore their feelings just because he has it easy with them, unlike some others who have to go through alot of objections from the Chinese family. I'm glad I found her before he actually starts taking the whole smooth affair for granted.

Wedding Vendors and Preps

2008-07-13T18:57:00.004+08:00

Heading off to Phuket end of the month and work starts after that. I'm so glad I secured most of the vendors for my wedding already. Even though there's another 6-8 months before the two big days, it's really good to start early and get the major headaches out of the way. I learnt a lot of things the past month :

- Don't engage a wedding planner if you can't stand being bossed around and if you're a diehard planner yourself. If you do need a planner, meet up with them. You will know which one is right for you because I engage my vendors based on how well I click with them during our FIRST meet and NOT after 2 meetings or etc.

- If you need to come up with a budget, do proper research on the current prices of everything involved in a wedding. Go to wedding forums and read through them to roughly gauge how much you need to allocate (the range). I like Malaysiabrides because there's a good mix of people around in the forum and not just typical cina lian kinda people but unfortunately, if you're looking into Malay traditional wedding preps, you have to find your own way coz that was what we did. After coming up with a budget, you can sorta do your own personal cut down here and there by scouting around for potential vendors that can fit your budget. There will be a variance of 5-10% most of the time so better overestimate than underestimate your budget. Your venue will take 70% (maximum) of your whole wedding budget which, of course depends on where you plan to hold the reception.

- Buy magazines but don't overbuy. I have 6 bridal magazines but 4 out of the 6 I used to get decor, dress and favour ideas. Most other things in the mag like makeup, photog, venues and etc. are quite repetitious. I personally like WeddingsbyEternal as the book is quite comprehensive and there's more to read than just plain advertorial if compared with WeddingsMalaysia. Have a wedding organiser where you can stick your pictures, namecards of your vendors and etc. It's gonna be your bridal bible and can probably be passed on down to your daughters. LOL.

- Do check the reliability of your wedding vendors especially the people who's gonna be tailoring your attire (same goes for those renting them). Always have a backup candidate. Initially, I wanted to get this tailor to make my kebaya and baju akad nikah but my instinct somehow told me to call them back and to cut the long story short, they were in a mess. They didn't bother returning my call as promised and they were dumping me from one designer to another. Very irresponsible and totally unprofessional. So luckily, while we were buying songket at Atiqah's Songket in TTDI, my mom spotted this very finely tailored baju (the workmanship was awesome) in the shop and asked the owner where she tailored her clothes. The price is of course on the steeper side unfortunately but if you know how to appreciate the halus-ness of needlework then you would try to accommodate it into your budget *grins* The ladies at Selendang Sutera @ Kompleks Antarabangsa (Jln Sultan Ismail, next to Crowne Plaza hotel - previously known as the old KL Hilton) are very straightforward and will always advice you to not compromise on quality for your big day when it comes to the cloth you buy. The best advice she gave was to go to all your major vendors early so you would have ample time to save for the extras that you might spend. Heeheee.

- Remove things that you don't need from your hotel wedding package and convert them to other more useful stuffs like an extra complimentary room or a better menu or etc. Getting complimentary rooms are great for me because we don't intend to use the Bridal Suite for our wedding prep. For me, it's a very personal space and it annoys me to have people walking in and out and around a place that is supposed to be special and all that. I don't know, it's just personal for me. At least, you'd also have a place for your friends to change if they're gonna help you coordinate some last minute stuffs for the reception.

- Bargain. Bargain. Bargain. It won't hurt to bargain for better things as long as its reasonable. But of course, if you're having your wedding during the peak period, then your bargaining power might just be a lil weak. If you can't bargain for monetary savings then bargain for something usable or an upgrade. In a way, you don't pay out less but you get more freebies or something like that.

- Try to avoid peak periods say June onwards coz that way, the wedding vendors you engage with will not be rushing through your wedding along with the many other clients they have and they'd be more than happy to accommodate your demands. Haha. At least that's the feedback I got when I told them that our wedding was in March. I think my wedding decorator is really nice (Wishing Tree) and reminds me a lot of Shirlyn from Kidchan Studio coz they're both so cincai and funny. You won't feel like they're talking down to you and they're very flexible.

- Start early. Really. Don't tell people you're having your wedding in 3 months time. You're crazy. Unless of course you have a lot of money..like a whole load and you wedding planner will do everything for you OR you're having a really small wedding.

Communicate well, take a breather. He was so cute today but I think he's right when he said, "Darling, can we not do anything that has got to do with the wedding next weekend? I want to have a normal US time". But yeah, it's time to lay off this wedding thingy for awhile until we come back from Phuket.

What Grooms Don't Understand

2008-07-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

"Why do you need to know how long it takes?"

Because I AM the one doing the freaking planning and not him. And there's a thing called the TIMELINE to follow so there won't be big screw ups later.

Catdog

2008-07-10T22:57:00.012+08:00

Dog meets cat. I think they will like each other. Hahaha.

Gila

2008-07-10T18:18:00.004+08:00

Wah. I'm like fuming right now. Firstly, time and time again I always mention that I hate people who say things for the sake of saying. Secondly, I said before that I hate people who hide things from me. I don't care if the shit is small or whatever. I don't mind if that person conceals it from me but don't come and kenakan me balik because hello, you don't tell me how I know right? And when I really don't know, I kena. Like wahlauz, that person "siam" from the blame damn easily lor. "siam" in hokkien means "avoid".

Like you give the person an impression that you're irresponsible/useless/incapable (same as useless right?)/etc. but the actual fact is that you're not what you ALLOWed people to perceive you as AND when people keep labeling you as incapable, you retaliate suddenly and holy cow...the whole thing bamboozle off course. Then you blame that person for labeling you that way but I don't think it's that person's fault lor coz firstly, it's not that person's fault you made yourself look that way and to make matters worse, when you finally do something about it, you do it at a very delayed timeline. Lagilah that person think one kind. Haih.

There's only one way to solve this. TWO WAY communication. You can't bloody just agree one time and not do it. What would people think of you? Then when people pick on you, you say they shouldn't do that. But c'mon, you brought this upon yourself. You're no mind reader and neither are they. There's always a thing called "sharing your thoughts". Best part is, other people gets blamed as well when you don't share your thoughts.

Oh oh.....and I don't like people who like to act all macho and shy to ask for help from girls. Like if they do, that means they are less capable and that the girl is smarter. And then they tell the girl that they know blablablabla but at the end of the day, everything falters and then the girl have to help out also. Kan better if you did it right the first time? Save everyone the trouble. Goodness!

So pissed off. It takes two hands to clap. People don't just act the way they do unless it's in their bloody gene lah, which I still think is ridiculous.

Sidetrack abit.....how do you get 4 people (male) as witness while you're being sodomised? Voyeurs?

Downtime

2008-07-09T12:18:00.003+08:00

I haven't had much time to open Macbat the past few days and only had a chance to browse through my mails using my hp. Have been running quite a few errands and collecting my offer letter and totally dropped dead yesterday. Came down with a major fever, made worse after walking around a really really cold Pavilion. The day didn't get better with TNB carelessly screwing up something while they were replacing the old electric cables with new ones, which resulted in an almost 5 hours sleep without electricity. I was almost suffocating already and my pulse count was like so much higher. It was a total nightmare. Fever + no electricity = Can die.

Almost all the major stuffs for the wedding are settled already so all I need to do now is let it run by itself and finish by the preset deadline. I'm not a last minute kinda person and when I have plenty of time in hand (like now), I like to get it over and done with so that when I have other commitments at hand, I won't need to juggle between so many things and look like trash on my wedding day. Now that I've got the major stuffs confirmed, all I need to do is let my sisters and a few friends whom I have spoken to for help to run it on my behalf in the later part of the prep.

Gonna get more rest now or else I won't be able to do my med check for work.

Mind Matter

2008-07-07T10:01:00.002+08:00

Maybe my decision was right...maybe it was wrong but I know what ever it is, it will take a lot of strength and getting used to either way. Trust wasn't at all the issue. The past is an issue and how throughout the years, your character, vulnerability and defensiveness are formed around what happened during those times. There is a reason behind every person's action but not everyone can identify them unless they put away their ego. It takes two hands to clap. Being able to admit one's fault is actually one step closer to being able to accommodate others. If you can never see your fault in anything and the first thing you do is to blame others, then that person will never ever be able to understand others. It doesn't matter if they say sorry like carbon dioxide coming out from their body but at the end of the day, the word "sorry" is worthless. The art of giving and taking is really not at all easy to master.

Courage to come out from your comfort zone is all it takes to get your life back on track and to make sure you won't regret any decisions you make there after. But I'm not sure if I'm determined enough to stick by my decision today. I am easily swayed and when that happens, the same cycle repeats itself.

Fair & Square

2008-07-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

You know, men always want their women to look good and hence, we see slimming sanctuaries blooming, facial and spa centers mushrooming and all sorts of crap products selling like hot cake nowadays. Maybe some do to look good for THEMSELVES but honestly, most are doing it for their partners or potential ones. Sometimes I even read and heard people saying out loud that if a woman doesn't know how to groom herself then their men will just stray away. Damn shallow. Then like that men should also learn how to look handsome or at least fit until the day they die lah or else we women will just find ourselves more hunky lovers. Of course, some of us women are not like that...we don't simply keep sugarpuppies around and we tend to be blinded by love and loyalty. But you know what? Men should be jolted awake to realise that di zaman skarang nih, if you don't know how to maintain your awesome-ness, you'll kena the same thing too. At least have something else which is comparable lah.

On another note, I damn hate people who love pointing fingers at others but themselves. I also happen to hate people with tonnes of excuses because I believe in looking for solutions and executing them instead of sitting there to whine about it and shoot others.

Bobbi Brown

2008-07-05T17:04:00.007+08:00

I used to love Revlon so much but the range I use happen to be discontinued already. Bleh. So I decided that now was the time to try out Bobbi Brown and see if there IS a difference between Revlon and BB (price aside).

BBrown was so much better of course, considering how much I paid for it. The texture was perfect...almost similar to Revlon's but what appealed to me more was the fact that BBrown made my face looked so naturally smooth and glowy and I didn't need to make an effort to find my ideal color tone.

[My love for BB is suddenly apparent after I put them together]

Was at Pavilion and was supposed to buy the stick blusher but ended up with a cheek rouge and a bottle of liquid foundation, which was super awesome that my youngest sister went "wah...nice...so radiant.." and convinced me to buy it. The color blended so darn well with my skin and it made me glowwwww. Hahahaha. I bet I was the easiest customer she had today.

My cheeks are kinda weird since earlier this week. The normal amount of blusher I use is now turning to be too much for my skin. It must be the heat coz my cheeks are like blushing by itself and its really annoying especially when you're using Benetint.

I saw this really nice short cheongsam and wanted it so badly but they only had a size S. Ceh. Punggung besar. I'll go hunt it down at the MidValley outlet. HMPH.

Still can't believe I actually got that job. Wooohoooo!!!

I Want I Got

2008-07-05T01:29:00.004+08:00

The assessment today went great though there were a few intense moments (of the majority) with this particular girl. In short, they said that they practice speed and efficiency and hence, we will get a call by the end of the day if we're selected to join the program or latest by Monday. By 5pm+ I was already worried sick and thought I didn't get through. The phone was constantly with me while I was getting ready to go for a dinner with my friends.

I then got the call around 6 something while I was on my way to my old office. Good thing my handsfree was on. Heh. I was so happy that I was afraid I would bang the car in front of me. I really didn't put high hopes on it for I was afraid that I might just jinx it? YAY! Everyone's so happy for me coz they knew how much I wanted and worked hard to get this job. It wasn't easy and I'm so glad that they selected me out of the hundreds of people.

Will start on the 4th of August. Perfect. I get to bum around awhile longer and then celebrate my engagement and my new job in Phuket before I start work the week after I'm back.

I Want

2008-07-02T17:16:00.000+08:00

The interview yesterday was good. When I walked out thinking about the things I said and whether I said it right, it means I really want the job. But normally when I really want something, I don't normally get it.

I sure hope 3rd time's a charm.

Today onwards, I'm gonna learn how to be muka tebal. That way I won't have to always think about what others might think or how people are judging me. Less headache, more love for myself.

[update+] Last round this Friday. I am so excited. I am so nervous. I want this so badly I hope nothing will go wrong. I'm so glad I made it this far. Now time to finish it up dengan cemerlangnya.

Wedding Books

2008-06-30T02:28:00.004+08:00

My new best friend. Better than WeddingsMalaysia. I like this better because it has more info and prettier pictures. Haha. Coupled with my lil wedding organiser, I am all set to plan my own wedding. Hiring wedding planners isn't my cuppatea. They tend to boss you around too much or maybe I just happen to bump into the bossy ones or maybe I just happen to be the bossy one hence hate being bossed around =P

Time to go watch my FABulous FABregas play. Woot! Go Spain!

Super Sunday

2008-06-29T22:21:00.003+08:00

Everyone started puking and cirit-ing since last night. My dad and I escaped unharmed but maybe I'm like around them too much, I kinda feel weird myself. I seriously cannot afford to fall sick. An important interview is coming up this Tuesday.

We found the perfect couch for the tv hall already but is still shopping around for the guest hall. I love love the new set.

We were having dinner at Uncle Lim's when my dad spotted this China mari lady walking around asking for food. She was clad in quite an ok set of clothing carrying a sling bag. Seriously pitiful. We saw her sneaking leftover food into her plastic bag a few times. Though it was a heart wrenching sight, we did not offer her our portion of food for fear that she will return for money and later make it a habit. This lady was most probably duped into coming to this country and is now jobless and penniless. The best part is, she probably has no legal documents and is in the country illegally. I hope karma will get back at the groups of people who reaped money off them, promising a future in a country abroad.

My dad said that we should appreciate what we have and that there are a lot of desperate people out there because of the rising cost of living.

Headache. Should stop staring at the screen too long.

Procedures

2008-06-28T17:21:00.004+08:00

I've never printed out this many forms to fill or seen this many procedures to go through for a marriage. It's really overwhelming. I can't wait till it's all over. Government related procedures are so damn annoying.

At Last

2008-06-26T00:06:00.009+08:00

Everything IN. Rubbish OUT.

Come in. Knock first. DND.

Settled photogs, cloth, venue. Interview the other day (the one who called after 7 months) left me disoriented a lil. You know how people experience culture shocks? Well, imagine me walking outa the interview feeling almost that way. It's not like I stammered through my interview because I think I did well but seriously...like damn...totally can't explain exactly how I felt that day. They were like a whole different species. Another (different) interview this Tuesday.

Tired but totally puas. I managed to keep within budget and got what I wanted. The power of bargaining. Haha.

We went into the wrong house the other day. It was so silly coz the maid actually opened the door for us and some old lady greeted us. How dangerous. I wonder if the maid got fired already. Section 17 is just odd. LOL. Seriously, silly things happen most of the time with us but this was something worth remembering. "Maybe they use taxi as the backdrop?". Giler lawak. Hahaha.

Check

2008-06-23T12:05:00.002+08:00

Woot! Spain lepas! Fab! Fab! Fab! I would've supported the underdogs if Italy made it through instead.

Rest day today. Been going out the past 4 days running errands till evening until I felt a lil disoriented and lost my appetite a lil.

I'm Not Perfect

2008-06-22T00:56:00.003+08:00

My dad cc-ed the whole family an sms she sent to my 2nd sister who has been missing from day till late night for the past few days going into "hiding" at her bf's nearby. It reminded me of my first year with him but the only difference was that, I had myself a curfew. I made sure that no matter how late I came back, I would be back to see my father before his bed time and no matter how early I go out, I would only go out after I sit down with my mother in the morning. But my dad's sms wasn't stern or angry, instead it was full of love and concern. A line in his sms made me cry. He said, "No one would love you the same way your family does". No matter how big a mistake you made, your family will always forgive you and love you because you're family. No matter how silly you were or how awful some words or your thoughts are, your family will never make you feel low or stupid but instead will rationalize with you and guide you.

I am not perfect and I will never be. I deserve to make mistakes and I deserve to be stupidly silly once in awhile. I am after all human and humans make mistakes. I am not a yes doll, I am not a perfect doll and I am not a damn doll. And I am glad that my family loves me for who I am because I am family. No one will ever love you more than or the way your family does. No one will understand you the way your family does.

There are many times in the past few years where I felt so stupid...so incompetent....and almost "uneducated". I told myself to learn up, to improve and to grow up fine. But today, the feeling came back again or rather it never disappeared. I take it hard on myself whenever I make mistakes. I know what caused it but I never expected it to turn worse but it has. I find myself in a position where I have to please everyone and right now, I'm sick of pleasing people because no one ever asked me what I want and how I felt. All they do is assume. Assume what I want, assume how I feel, assume what I'm thinking. It would be nice to have people asking me sincerely, "What would you like?" or "What are you thinking?". I don't need for people to give in to me but mean otherwise when asked later.

I just want to be myself for one day. I don't think that's too much to ask.

OMGosh

2008-06-21T16:29:00.004+08:00

The picture below right (which is only half of the Grand Ballroom), 180 meja. All chairs are brand new. All cutleries and plates are brand new. Table drapes are the hotel's but the table liners are theirs. They only required tables, ballroom, food and projectors. Entah anak datuk mana kahwin.

I wonder how the completed decor will look like coz they were only doing the ground decor and not yet the ceiling.

I am very fond of this venue and hopefully we'll get the green light this coming Tuesday. Get it over and done with so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Went to Atikah's Songket and felt like buying the whole shop. The kain is like super duper awesome quality! And everything's so pretty. If I had a registry set up, everyone would prolly go broke trying to get the list of things on it or maybe I wouldn't get anything at all. Haha. But really, it's super duper awesome.

Once you stop letting that one thing/person affect you, the whole affair gets a lil bit more exciting.

Tonight, We are Us

2008-06-21T05:47:00.002+08:00

Atikah Songket

2008-06-20T16:48:00.002+08:00

Here I come!! I am such a jinjang jane. Aminuddin Baki Aminuddin Baki. Please let me find something nice there.

My shelves are here. I prefer my mattress on the floor suddenly. Too used to sleeping without the bed frame.

Things are picking up in the job search side. I got the most surprising call today. LOL. Like 8 months ago punya resume lor.

Lonely

2008-06-20T00:41:00.002+08:00

The room feels weird without the youngest. I'm calling her back in. I'm not used to sleeping alone.

I Tell You

2008-06-19T17:55:00.004+08:00

If I were a fruit, I would be a durian so I can drop myself and cucuk people's head
If I were an animal, I would be piranhas so I can chew everything fast and leave nothing except the bones
If I were a color, I would be red....fire....furious fire
If I were a vehicle, I would be the tractor that flattens a road
If I were a bird, I'd be a vulture
If I were a person, I'd be a sniper
If I were an insect, I'd be a scorpion
If I were a weapon, I'd be a timebomb
If I were a plant, I'd be poison ivy
If I were a vegetable, I'd be a spinach so I can choke people (coz I choke on leafy veggie)

and , if I were an emotion, I'd be pissed off.

Laugh It All Out

2008-06-19T10:01:00.005+08:00

Cannot stop laughing. We were talking about the tea ceremony stuffs and goodness, girls are evil. LOL. We are especially excited about the "obstacle" part before the groom gets to meet the bride. Mwahahaha. Habislah they all.

Going to 1U.

My parents are so funny. I love them so much.

Tonight, I'm gonna evict my sister. Wanna skype pun susah. I kesian her but it has got to be done. Heehee.

Lady Luck

2008-06-18T16:04:00.004+08:00

Can't get over the dumb Miley Cyrus song and also Ashlee Simpson's - Outa My Head.

Got a call from someone today. I didn't feel as enthusiastic as I was the last few times I had calls like this. But I think I'm wiser now. Haha. Need to fax over some stuffs and I'm just hoping for the best. So far a lot of nice things have happened and I hope this will be one of it.

The weather is so cool now. So nice to sleep in and that's exactly what I'm gonna do now.

My ankle is a bit better now that I've stopped going to the gym for 4 days now. I must have put too much pressure on it since it prolly hasn't healed completely yet.